The last few months of my professional experience and interaction with company employees has been well……CHALLENGING. We’ve grown fast, adding people, increasing production. That is good.  However, growing fast means you add people fast.  Some are very good, others are well……..CHALLENGING.

As I reflect back o the last few months, I realized that I have to remember my own self-management.  I realized that being a leader is well…..CHALLENGING.  I found that leadership is truly a 24/7 job.  In fact, leaders must practice the art of influence every time, all the time.  If you sway, you will fall back into the same practices of those you lead.

Here is an example;

Due to our growth, we opened an additional manufacturing facility.  That meant we needed leaders and employees.  We tapped into a retired individual that was familiar with a lot of our executives and had significant experience in manufacturing.  It meant that he would be in charge of securing the location, ensuring the building was ready for manufacturing and recruiting people to build the product.  This was all accomplished, however the way he went about accomplishing this was not what I expected.  For one, he went to his former employer and convinced a large group to come over and work for us.  This occurred without any discussions or insight into our hiring process.  That meant that we had employees showing up for work without being fully authorized and without going through orientation, etc.  This frustrated me greatly.  In fact, I immediately grew dissatisfied and refused to accommodate him.  He continued to defy our policies and procedures and was causing a lot of dissension between employees. I found myself resisting his ideas and refusing to support him.  This was greatly affecting who I was as a leader.  It was noticeable and my attitude was not very good.  My employees closest to me were asking what was wrong with me, why was I  letting this guy get to me?

I realized that I was the problem.  That I had the knowledge and ability to immediately change this situation.  I was the company leadership example.  I mean, I train on leadership.  Employees were looking to me for direction and they were watching my reactions to this guy’s actions.

As I began to think and meditate on the situation, I realized that I had done a poor job of self-management.  I had temporarily walked away from what I know about leadership and the very things that I teach others.

I realized that a leader’s greatest challenge is self-management. I also found that my leadership must be right on for others to follow.  I must alway add value, in every situation in order to influence people.  Remember, leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. I needed to be a strong leader, influencing this person to follow the rules, to communicate his thoughts and desires, to provide the required feedback (positive or negative). I realized that if I lead myself the correct way, others will follow.  If I do not lead, or if you lead poorly, you’ll push people away.  Even those who you consistently influence become frustrated.  They see your frustration and act in a similar manner.  Eventually, you will push them away.   These are the very people you need as examples for those who aren’t on board yet.

As we consider self-management, I like to follow the three areas as provided by John Maxwell.    Here they are, with my flair and take.

1. Emotions – Like anyone else, leaders experience powerful emotions. However, good leaders know when to display emotions and when to delay them. I often hear people question leaders that show powerful emotions.  I say that those emotions must be timely.  They must be displayed in the appropriate situations.  The wrong emotion at the wrong time, can do significant damage.  The right emotion at the right time, can produce incredible results. Leaders must hold their emotions in check until an appropriate time and place. Remember, the ultimately goal in leadership is adding value.  Emotions can add or detract value based on the way they are displayed.
2. Thoughts – Leaders are thinkers. Thoughts are critical to making sound decisions. If you are too busy to spend time in thought, your decision making ability is affected.  A good leader must allow time for gathering and organizing our thoughts.  Throughout the day, write down those things you need to revisit. Set aside some time daily to resist those items and think through them.  In fact, I suggest that you spend time weekly removed from distraction and meditate on those items.  I really believe successful leaders are thinkers.  By thinking through things, you are able to form great questions.  I believe great questions are the sign of a good leader.
3. Energy –  Successful people are high energy people.  However, high energy levels can create problems, both for you and for those who you influence. I am driven to accomplishment.  I tend to focus on achievement.  In fact, I measure my daily performance by what I accomplished. I tend to over-achieve and overwhelm people.  In my training with the John Maxwell group, I realized that I must focus my efforts on what provides the greatest result.  To ensure I focus on the right things, I start every day reviewing my calendar and identifying the one or two activities that require the greatest amount of energy.  I focus my energy on them and sandbag the rest of the day.  No I don’t give them less effort, but I am slow and steady to complete these projects.  It is ok if they don’t get finished that day. I cannot afford to expend my energy on situations or people pulling me down as a leader.  I must always approach those in a positive manner that results in influence and ultimately, my leadership.

CONCLUSION

Being in leadership is well…….CHALLENGING!!  As leaders, we must always remember to self-manage our own actions and ensure we are always leading.  whether it is a situation or a person, the way we react is a direct result of our leadership frame of mind.  Follow the three things mention above (emotions, thoughts and energy) to ensure you are self-managing yourself.  I found if I follow these three areas, I am prepared to handle any situation that may come my way.

Jim Rhone once said, “The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.”  I think if we can take hold of this, we can all be effective leaders who are up to the challenge.

Become a good self-manager and become a good leader.

Every have a day where every decision is yours?  Even when you have people who should be making them?  Well this week has been one of those weeks for me.  I have had several decisions to make, that people should

know the answer or should be able to come up with the appropriate answer.  Heck, come up with n answer EVEN if it’s wrong!  Can we move the conference call?  Does this person need to be trained? Does this piece of equipment need a guard?  Can we start someone today and do orientation next week?

What the heck!!!  I am strategic thinker, I don’t have time for this non-sense!

Well, maybe you do.  I found myself getting frustrated,  then I realize they are looking to me for direction.  Maybe they don’t feel comfortable with their answer.  Maybe they don’t feel comfortable with my reaction to their answers.  People will answer questions and make decisions only if they feel confident in their answers or decisions.

So how do we as leaders ensure our people feel comfortable and confident to answer questions and make decisions?  Here are 5 ways to accomplish this.

1. Make Sure Everyone Understands the Expectations – Your employees must know the parameters for making decisions.  A leader’s expectations are critical to great performance.  You must be willing to outline the expectations and let your people make decisions and answer questions.  Always leave the door open for them to come ask if they don’t feel comfortable.
2. Knowledge – Do they have the knowledge to make the decision or answer the question?  I have often found myself asking questions to a boss that is met with a “are you serious” stare.  Well yes I am, I wouldn’t ask if I knew the answer.  Employees need to have the knowledge to answer the questions, if they don’t, make sure they feel comfortable coming to you for direction.
3. Less is More – There is all kind of research and data and this.  My take? Provide less “fat” in the details and let people make decisions.  encourage your employees to make decisions based on their knowledge and expertise.  If they are knowledgable or the expert, then encourage them to go to the correct resource.
4. Use Your Gut – Your “gut feeling”, we all have it.  FOLLOW IT!!!  Our “gut feeling”
   is known as intuition.  Intuition is the feeling you get from the information you have.  People ar intuitive in their areas of strength and knowledge.  If the decision is based within, use your intuition to derived at the answer.
5. READY, FIRE, AIM – My absolute favorite.  Encourage employees to make decisions based on this concept.  Professionals often times get caught up in ensuring the project, decision, etc is perforce and then never follow through or complete it.  READY, FIRE, AIM simply means that if your prepare appropriately and FIRE! Then we can easily make course corrections later to perfect it.

In the end, decisions are not always easy.  Heck, I re-wrote this ending five times!  But decisions are necessary.  Encourage your employees to make decisions on their own.  If the decision isn’t right, be supportive and encouraging in your coaching!!

As a coach, trainer, and speaker for the John Maxwell Group, I have been researching leadership issues and strategies on a daily basis. Throughout my preparation in teaching a Mastermind group in the “21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership,” I began thinking about how much we have on our plates and how we must learn to balance it all.   I came across the six balancing acts written by John Maxwell.

I put this together in hopes that you may read it, apply it, and live it. I have, and it works! I recently read this and fully believe that it is true, “Great leaders combine an assortment of skills into a single repertoire from which they inspire and guide their team.” Good leaders are able to somehow merge and mix contradictory traits, which they effectively include in their daily activities and interactions.

Here are the six things that I have tried to instill and follow in my own life and leadership style. These are taken directly from the John Maxwell article found in Leadership Wired.

1. Leaders are both confident and modest – You need self-assurance to lead, but you also must be able to set aside your ego. Being a leader is not about making yourself more powerful. It’s about making the people around you more powerful. People follow leaders who have a healthy sense of self-worth, and are yet humbled by their responsibility. Egotistical leaders use others to advance their self-centered pursuit of perks, titles, and other status symbols. Eventually, they disillusion their people and stunt the growth of the company. Confident-yet-humble leaders derive satisfaction from serving others. These leaders unlock the potential of people and equip them to further the company’s mission and vision.
2. Leaders communicate passionately and listen patiently – Listening to others improves ideas, sends alerts to unforeseen issues, and allows for closer relationships with employees.  Listed below are some important quotes on listening. “Big people monopolize the listening, small people monopolize the talking.”  “Listening is the way to gain wisdom, because everything you say, you already know.”  Effective Leaders allow others to tell them what they need to hear, not necessarily what they want to hear.” One of the best ways to persuade others, is with your ears, by listening to them.”
3. Leaders give encouragement and they are never satisfied – Effective leaders encourage people, affirm their work, and constantly push them to even greater performances.  A group’s primary motivation comes from a passionate leader who positively expresses dissatisfaction with the company’s status, along with a sincere belief that the group can take things higher. Leaders should stretch people, but they can only do so to the extent they can demonstrate care and goodwill towards those they lead.
4. Leaders protect their people from danger, but expose them to reality – Most people want a leader who insulates them from difficulty, rather than encouraging action to overcome it. People need adversity to grow; otherwise they level out. A leader’s responsibility is NOT to protect people from EVERY difficulty, but to PARTNER with them in facing life’s trials.
5. Leaders blaze the trail and show the way – Leaders are not afraid to buck convention and strike out in a new direction. However, they get no pleasure from living as mavericks. Leaders want to link up with others, push into new frontiers, and better guide others down the road.
6. Leaders initiate changes while standing for values that don’t change – One job of a leader is to help people identify what habits and assumptions must change in order for the company to prosper.  At the same time, leaders must ask; which values and operations are so crucial to our core, that if we lose them we lose ourselves?

In short, leaders must bring about change without surrendering the organization’s identity.  Balancing everything in our personal and professional life is an intricate task.  However, in order to maximize enjoyment in your personal life and still maintain professional upward mobility, you must master the balancing act.

I recently wrote a piece titled, “Winning is Not Always the Measure of Defeat”.  It dealt with having high expectations and situations not turning out the way you wanted or expected.  I find myself writing on a similar topic, but really focusing on humility in the time of defeat.  Last week was the final home game for Oklahoma State University (my Alma Mater).  However, it was against University of Texas.  Texas is my home state.  So naturally there was some trash talk before the game.  Well, my trash talk.  Didn’t hear much from my family and friends.  I think they knew better.  It is better to talk trash after the game, not before it.  I quickly realized that I messed up.  We loss 28-7.  The trash talk really began, but it was them, not me.  I deserved it.  I had to take a very humble approach and admit my defeat.   It also made me think about the work and study I’ve done around humility.  Let me share some insight into humility.  An area of my life that I have personally been working on (not always my choice).

When people talk about leadership, they don’t use the word “humility” very often. More likely, they describe a leader as strong or focused or ambitious. They would probably say the leader is confident or assertive. “Humble” may not ever come up, and if it does, it might not be used as a compliment.

But I believe humility is a character trait that every leader should posses. Benjamin Franklin once said, “there is perhaps not one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive. Even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.”

I think without humility, no real success is possible.  You can’t lead people, without first being able to admit your mistakes.  Most leaders have an abundance of ambition, talent, and confidence, but few possess the humility necessary to sustain influence over time.  I’ve found that many leaders typically shun humility because they see it as a sign of weakness or self-doubt.  Many feel they have to be right on everything.  After all, they are in charge.  I find my character and personality tends to go down this similar path.  Personally and professionally, I find myself trying to maintain self-preservation (whole different topic) and feel if I admit fault that I might be viewed or perceived as a weak leader.  However, I consistently find that is not the case.  When I am sincerely humble, I find I gain respect, loyalty and wisdom.

How do you become a humble leader? Here are 5 things that bring about humility in a Leader.

1. Responsibility – TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your mistakes. Humble leaders readily accept responsibility for failure.
2. Objectivity – In the words of Ezra Taft Benson, “Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right.” Humble leaders do not consider their own ideas and projects to be sacred.
3. Open-Mindedness – BE OPEN!! Humble leaders have awareness of how much they don’t know.
4. Inspiration – Humble leaders are appreciative people.
5. Respect – Humble leaders see life as far bigger than themselves, and add value to other people by serving them.

C.S. Lewis said…………..”Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of your self less”.  

I love this old story set in the Roman Empire times.

A general returning from a great victory in battle is greeted with great acclaim by the population of the city. They cheer for him as he travels in a grand procession through the streets, hailing him as a mighty warrior and leader. But the general, aware of his own weaknesses and wanting to be sure he doesn’t get too caught up in the celebration, asks a fellow soldier to do something to keep him humble. So as the procession winds through the city streets, this soldier’s one job is to crouch on the floor of the chariot, where only the general can see and hear him, and whisper, “You’re only a man. You’re only a man. You’re only a man….”  

That general understood that he needed to avoid letting all the attention go to his head. He knew that by remaining humble, he would be able to keep growing and improving as a leader and warrior.

We should not be concerned about not who is right and who is wrong.  Leadership is about influencing people.  It is about adding value to them.  When we become humble leaders, we are able to get through the muck and mire of everyday task and situation.  We are able to put aside the “trash” talk and focus on what provides value to those we lead.  Once this occurs, we are on the path to excellence.

Great leaders are humble leaders.  Humility is a must in leadership…………NEVER FORGET THIS………………IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!!…………IT REALLY ISN’T!!!!

It was an absolutely beautiful morning as we arrived at Oklahoma State University. There was a sort of excitement and anticipation in the air. Orange and Black was everywhere. Today, it was homecoming. It was getting back to my alma-mater, remembering and reminiscing about those good ‘ol days. For me, it was standing next to Old Central and looking East to Fire station #2. It was remembering the courses, the labs, long evening and nights figuring out the metric conversions to all those Borgelt papers. It was remembering great Professors, and not so great Professors. Nostalgia, it was. But was it really all that? Ummmmmm, NO, it was about beating the HECK out of West Virginia!!!!

Shortly after kickoff, it was evident this might not turn out the way I planned. The nostalgia and the memories quickly turned to frustration and anger. Were these Cowboys going to win? The answer is well, not the game. However, it made me realize that winning is not always the measure of success. You see, OSU lost 45% of their Letterman from last year. The only team in college football to hold that honor. That means there are a lot of new and inexperienced players.

So as fans, and loyal alumni, winning is our first choice, as I am sure that is the same for the OSU players, coaches and staff. Well as you can probably figure out, OSU did lose the game. But did they really lose? I don’t believe so. In our life, our profession and yes, even with our football team, winning comes in many ways. As I sat there thinking about the game and the losing performance on the field, I started thinking about what the Cowboys did accomplish during and after that game. What will make them a better team, better athletes,better students and ultimately a better person? I came up with 3 things that I believe the OSU Cowboy football team got and what you and I get out of every winning or losing situation and experience.

Clarity- There is no doubt these players gained more clarity on plays, speed, talent, etc. You see, I believe the more you understand what it takes to perform your daily activities, the more you understand your interactions with people, the more clarity you get in your leadership of employees, staff and even family. The sooner you become clear on the activities, task and relationship interactions, the sooner you will experience your desired outcomes.
Consistency- Consistency is huge. Football players perform the same drills every day in practice, they run the same plays over and over and over until they can run them with their eyes closed. Consistency creates simplicity. When you add consistency in your life and business, you add simplicity. “Practice makes Perfect”, right? The more we practice, the more consistent we become. The more consistent, the more competent we become, the more competent, the more people believe in you. The more people believe, the more they trust you. The more they trust you, the more you can influence. If you can influence someone, you can lead them.
Character – I could talk about this forever. I promise you, Character was built-in those football players on Saturday. Character is evident when things don’t necessarily go our way. Our character is much more than just what we try to display for others to see, it’s who we are even when no one is watching. It’s who we are we on the inside. Our reputation comes from what others believe about our outside. Our character represents who we are on the inside. So if we focus on being better on the inside than the outside, over time we will become better on the outside. Character is who you are and who you are determines if people will follow. If people follow, then you can influence them, if you can influence them, then you can lead them!
Whether we win or lose is really up to us. Our goal is not to keep score and count our wins and losses, it is more what insight we gain in those wins or losses.

As leaders we must realize that winning is not always the measure of success, but it is what we gain from the experience that ultimately determines the outcome.

You can learn more leadership insights by visiting my blog at wwww.leaderinfluence.net.