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If it’s Lonely at The Top, Then Something’s Wrong

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Executive-Coaching

During a recent executive coaching session, my client and I were engaged in a conversation about leadership when he made the following statement;

“I am passionate about leading my staff, but I don’t feel anyone cares or likes me.” 

It is true many leaders feel lonely. In fact, one of the most common phrases I hear during coaching sessions is: “it’s lonely at the top.”   I disagree with the context of that statement. And so does John Maxwell. In his book, Leadership Gold, John says;

“If you are lonely at the top, then you are doing something wrong.” 

As leaders, we spend our days surrounded by people, so the last thing we expect is to feel alone, but many do. Why? I believe the feeling of loneliness is a not a positional issue, but rather one of personality.

Let me take a few words y from John Maxwell’s book, Leadership Gold to explain. In his book, John says; “If you are leading others and you’re lonely, then you’re not doing it right. Think about it. If you’re all alone, that means nobody is following you. And if nobody is following you, you’re not really leading! What kind of a leader would leave everyone behind and take the journey alone”?  John Maxwell answers that question with;

“a selfish one.”

As leaders, our job is to make people better. To give them the tools and knowledge to achieve their greatest desires.

However, if you’re feeling lonely, it can lead to many things like; poor decision-making, inept problem-solving, frustration, dysfunctional teams, and angry and frustrated employees. Not to mention the internal stress that builds and eventually causes negative behavior and discord between your spouse or significant other and those within your inner circle. Success is nowhere to be found.

There is no doubt that Colin Powell’s statement; “sometimes leadership means pissing people off” is true. Leaders must hold people responsible and accountable for their actions or lack thereof.  This can cause a temporary feeling of isolation or loneliness. Jack and Suzy Welch wrote in a Business Week article: “There’s something about being a boss that incontrovertibly lends itself to isolation. I’ve learned that people dislike people who hold them accountable and will withdraw themselves. I might even say that if you’re feeling some loneliness, you might be on the right track to becoming an effective leader.

I have been there.  I know how lonely it can feel. But my loneliness is base on my desire to have friends, to enjoy conversations and laugh and tell jokes. But leaders must remember; we are not here to make friends, but rather build relationships. When we realize our job is to build relationships, create trust and add value, we’ll do everything we can to connect with those we lead and create an atmosphere of coaching and collaboration. When that occurs, your not lonely, your fully engaged!

How do we eliminate the loneliness at the top and get our leadership focus right?

Here are five principles I lead by to eliminate the loneliness of leadership:

  1. I’m VISIBLE every day. I make a point to talk face to face or through the phone or video chat with EVERY direct report. I also strategically reach out to indirect reports to continue to build those relationships.
  2. I set clear BOUNDARIES with my team. I lead through a philosophy of Ready, Fire Aim. Meaning I empower my team to identify what needs to be done and go do it! We’ll make it perfect as we progress. However, there are boundaries in regards to people, operational interruptions and costs. When setting boundaries, be careful not to shut yourself off from your team.
  3. I INVOLVE my team in the vision and strategic plan. I make it a priority to get people involved in the process of decision-making, problem-solving, communication, and training.  I make sure everyone has input.
  4. I spend a large part of my time COACHING my team. I meet with each direct report weekly and conduct one-on-one coaching session where we continue to set, adjust and create goals and objectives, conduct on-going performance reviews and develop a mentoring relationship using character-based coaching to achieve their desired goals.
  5. I make sure and COLLABORATE with those outside of my direct reports and team. I made it a priority to meet with every department once a month to listen to their concerns and suggestions, as well as to share information.

There is no doubt that being a leader offers extraordinary challenges in connecting, building relationships and creating an atmosphere of trust. However, just because you’re no longer invited to lunch doesn’t mean that you’re a terrible leader.  Don’t take it personally. More importantly, accept it, because the more you try to be liked, the more you’ll compromise your role and lose respect from the team. Remember you are not there to create friendships, but rather build relationships.

happy-leaders

 

The 5 Must Have’s For the Balanced Safety Leader

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Fotosearch_k10730093What a great time to be a Safety Leader! Yes, you read that right. Let me repeat, what a great time to be a leader in a Safety Professional role! Are you a leader just because you’re in a leadership role? In my opinion, NO. I know many in leadership roles that for the life of me I cannot figure out how they got there.

True safety leaders possess certain traits and attributes that make them successful. There are certain things that leaders are good at and do well. I believe there has to be something that sets them apart from the rest of the organization.

What if there was something that would make you more successful, more efficient, and make your job easier? As leaders, we must learn what it takes to become both effective and successful. These two things, being effective and successful, can have lasting impacts.

This blog will provide you with the must-haves to be a balanced productive and successful safety leader. Your ability to create a balanced approach to safety will ensure your success.

What led to the creation of these top must-haves? After much deliberation, they were the result of a personal need to try something new. More specifically, I was failing as a professional. What I did for many years did not work. I had good performance on occasion, but it wasn’t sustainable. I discovered that a personal approach to leadership was what I needed. One of the things I noticed in many leaders was a general lack of character and an ability to effectively balance our approach based on individual situations. Many safety professionals are regulatory driven. There is an absence of managing the situation from a balanced approach. From this, I saw a personal and professional need to create a balanced approached to the safety professional. This motivated me to develop these “5 Must-Haves”.

Balance is essential, no it is critical!. You never want to go too far one way or the other. Learning to balance your thoughts, approach and interaction with people and situations require continuous, delicate adjustments to maintain a balanced, practical approach. Balance is stressed in every aspect of our lives — from learning to ride a bike to eating a balanced diet. It should be no different in our interactions with employees and others in the organization.

Maintaining a balanced approach to the safety of employees will ensure our ability to influence their behaviors and drive the continuous improvement in safe practices.

The 5 Must-Haves for a Balanced Safety Leader are:

  1. Must have an unwavering PASSION for the profession.
  2. Must have a great ATTITUDE
  3. Must be a PROBLEM SOLVER
  4. Must take INITIATIVE
  5. Must have HUMILITY

Here is a brief description of each.

1.  Must have an unwavering PASSION– Love your profession or leave it!

I am so tired of meeting professionals that hate their job, hate their profession, or those who merely chose their job because they vie wit as easy. If that is you, go find something else to do. All you are doing now is creating a toxic environment for yourself and the employees in the organization. Find something you love and build your passion around it.

Passion fuels will-power as a leader. Without it, you’ll lack the drive to change and overcome obstacles. Look, being safety professional is not easy. It takes patience, a caring heart and the ability to work through the barriers. Let’s face it, we are here because we care about people. Passion is what drives me to learn more and work hard every day so that I can rest easy when my employees make it home safely from work.

2.  Must have an excellent ATTITUDE– A great attitude is a positive attitude.

I think it was William James who once said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes.”

Our attitude determines how we interact with others and the way we communicate determines our influence. Safety professional’s have daily interactions with all levels of the organization. If we approach an employee with a bad attitude, the outcome tends to be riddled with talk of discipline, loss of job and discouragement. On the other hand, a right or positive attitude can motivate an employee to recognize their at-risk behaviors and identify what needs to change to ensure they stay safe.

If you have a poor attitude, stay locked up in your office. If you have a right and positive attitude, be present and bring the sunshine where ever you go! Success will follow!

3.  Must be a PROBLEM SOLVER – Can’t let your problems be a problem

Safety Leaders are good at identifying problems, issues, and concerns. Whether it is a condition or behavior, they can determine enough issues to fill a novel. The question is, are you good at solving the problems? Be a problem solver and influence! A good rule of thumb, provide at least two solutions to every problem you identify.

4.  Must take INITIATIVE –  READY………FIRE………AIM.

My staff hears it all the time. What does it mean? Shouldn’t you aim first, then fire? No. Just identify the problem, fix it, and then make the necessary adjustments later. At least you did something. If you never take the initiative to do something, things will never get done! If you identify a problem or something that needs to be done, who is the best person to initiate the solution? YOU!

5.  Must have HUMILITY – Humility is better than humiliation

I always have to include humility in any discussion I have on leadership, regardless of whether I am focused on the Safety Profession or leadership in general.

Why? Because so many leaders struggle with it. They’re under the impression that you must be strict, authoritative, and all-knowing in every situation. I’m aware of this because I used to lead that way.

However, through my many leadership mistakes in life, marriage, parenting, and work, I realized that leadership is about knowing what you know, and more importantly, recognizing what you don’t know. Not only is there intrinsic value in admitting you don’t know all things, but it is also clear importance amongst employees who sense your humility.

Here’s the truth. Employees know things that you don’t know. They may not say it to your face, but trust me; they are talking about you behind your back.

I love what C.S. Lewis and Lou Brock have to say on the subject of humility and pride:

 C.S. Lewis said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

Lou Brock said, “Show me a guy who is afraid to look bad, and I will show you a guy you can beat every time.”

A lack of humility makes us vulnerable. Without it, we open the door for negative things. People don’t want to follow arrogant leaders. They want to support someone whom they believe in and connect with. A lack of humility withholds honest connections with others; therefore, we must act as humble leaders.

CONCLUSION

Here’s a recap of the must-haves for leadership.

  1. Must have an unwavering PASSION for the profession.
  2. Must have a great ATTITUDE
  3. Must be a PROBLEM SOLVER
  4. Must take INITIATIVE
  5. Must have HUMILITY

This is only an introduction to what it takes to become a productive and successful balanced safety leader. Throughout the years, these five must-haves have helped me become a successful leader. Evaluate your current leadership style and identify what will complement your personality and enable you to lead more effectively and bring you success.

Take time and research each of these must-haves and learn how to apply them in your current position. I am confident that you will become a more effective balanced safety leader because of it.

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INFLUENCE, The Key to Effective Behavior Change

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Influence is an overused word, but few understand the concept. Many think influence is manipulation, force, and/or intimidation based on their position or status within the organization. That is not influence, that is dictatorial power! Influence is an exchange of ideas, a persuasion of others to a known purpose or direction. Influence is gained through the respect of those who are to be influenced.

But what is influence? I want you to think of influence as salt. Salt is not a flashy spice saltlike cayenne pepper or nutmeg. Salt is merely a basic. And yet, it is essential. Without it, food is bland and tasteless. Without it, decay and rot ensue. In recipes, salt serves all the other ingredients by extracting and enhancing their fullest expression and flavor.

As safety professionals.  You are in a profession whereby your ability to INFLUENCE others will be critical to the protection of life and safety. You must learn to influence like salt; in the background, without being visible or noticeable. It must become a part of your character and how you operate.

Why is influence so crucial in the safety profession? Influence is essential because safety professions typically have no authority and cannot MAKE people do anything. However, to have employees follow the policies and procedures, apply their training and follow directions, and ultimately achieve success, we must learn how to influence.

In fact;

we must learn to influence WITHOUT Authority!!!

Influencer and opinion leaderThroughout my years as a safety professional, I’ve found that there are more opportunities to influence than any other position within an organization. Think about it. Executives are relegated to an office.  Managers and supervisors have assigned areas of responsibility and seldom venture outside of their designated area. They may understand the departmental dynamics, but not necessarily how it affects the rest of the worksite or organization.

YOU, on the other hand, have responsibility for the entire facility, region or area. Much of your workday is spent in the field or on the floor (or at least it should be!). Safety Professionals are expected to have a broad range of knowledge and an array of information concerning the business and are supposed to solve a full spectrum of problems. So think about all the opportunities to influence; practically every conversation, interaction, and the situation will offer a chance to influence.

However, not all safety professionals take the opportunity to influence like salt. No, a lot of us prefer to pour salt on the wound instead. Because we cover or touch all areas and all departments, we often become very familiar with organizational practices, the people and the dynamics of various personalities and relationships. In doing so, we become aware of problems, inefficiencies and identify opportunities for improvement.

This is both good and bad.

On the one hand, you can use this information to analyze the safety needs and influence for change. On the other hand, the Safety Professional tends to be solutions oriented and strives to solve everyone’s problems.

As a consequence, this mindset is often interrupted as “knowing how to do everyone’s job and do it better!” This has the tendency to isolate our position and decrease our influence.  When we do things to decrease our influence, we decrease our ability to lead and ultimately get things accomplished by others. In their book, Influencing without Authority, Cohon and Bradford state “You need to INFLUENCE those in other areas, departments and division’s, those you don’t have control over.”  You must learn to influence without authority.

I want to share with you an example of real influence. While flipping through a TIME timemagazine issue listing the 100 World’s Most Influential People. Two individuals were listed, that I suspect are known to very few. Had influence been determined by a vote, I suspect that most readers would have never picked them. Their names are Brady Gustafson and Mary Scullion.

Brady, just 21 years of age, saved his fellow Marines when they came under direct attack in Afghanistan. Though Brady himself had suffered a life-threatening injury, he fought to save his friends and fellow Marines until help arrived.

Mary works tirelessly with an organization to help the homeless in Philadelphia, stating that “none of us are home until all of us are home.” As a result of her efforts, there are now less than 200 homeless men and women in Philadelphia.

These are real stories of influence. In society, influence generally indicates power over others, the power that inevitably reflects back on the one who is influencing. But for Brady and Mary, influence has very little to do with their own glory.

Indeed their influence is not about making a name for themselves, but rather about lifting up those without names and faces who have no influence or who most of the world will never know; homeless men and women and small-town young men who defend America.

What makes Brady and Mary so influential? I believe it is their behaviors. For Brady, he decided to take a risk to save others, knowing full well the potential outcome. However, his desire to defend and protect others generated a behavior that resulted in the saving of many lives. For Mary, it is having a subtle, but effective method of support to change the way the homeless population behaves.

So how does that relate to the Safety Profession?  When we consider the process of eliminating injuries, one must consider behaviors as the single most crucial aspect of a person working safely. With that as the case, changing or modifying behaviors will reduce or eliminate workplace injuries.

How does one influence change in a person’s work behavior? The answer to this question is simple. You must influence the person to exhibit the right safe behavior because it is the right thing to do. To accomplish this, you must do the following;

  1. Realize your character will be crucial to having influence.
  2. Give encouragement. Start every conversation or interaction with something positive.
  3. Let them know you need them. Make sure you establish their importance in the organization.
  4. Create a memory of the conversation. People will refer back to those memories when they are in similar situations.
  5. Say the right words at the right time. What we say is very important in our influence.
  6. Encourage them to make the right choices and decisions.
  7. Remember, you are there to support and influence them. It’s not about you!
  8. Listen to what is not being said. Make sure you listen to understand before you reply.
  9. Find the key to their motivation. Everyone is motivated differently. You must learn how to motivate in short period of time.
  10. Be the first to help. If there are issues, look for realistic solutions and be helpful in solving problems.
  11. Everything is in a name. Use their name throughout the conversation. Nothing is more influential to a person than referring to them by their name during a discussion.
  12. Encourage them to work safely. Get their personal commitment to exhibit the right safe behaviors.

Our ability to influence others is the core of changing behavior and ultimately eliminating injuries. As Safety Professionals we must focus our efforts on becoming influential through our consistent interactions with all levels of the organization.

5 Ways to Defeat Complacency

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The phrase,” it is what it is” becomes the motto for many people who allow complacency complacency-2to embed there lives and way of thinking. In fact, that phrase indicates complacency has overtaken their ability to transform their results.

Complacency is like a deadly virus dormant in your system. It is lurking to kill your goals, dreams, and success.  It has the power to rob you blind of new experience, positive change, and personal growth. The worst thing about complacency is the infected person is usually unaware that he or she is at risk.

Complacency occurs in all of us. It is present in our personal life and career. However, success is determined by your ability to effectively avoid or move away from complacency. 

To help you avoid or beat complacency, here are five ways to defeat or prevent complacency.

  1. Let Others Have Influence – “Never mistake the power of influence.” – Jim Rohn. Leaders need to listen and be wise, vulnerable and courageous enough to allow others to have influence. I know what you are thinking, being vulnerable as a leader is a sign of weakness. That thinking is out of date. In fact, I believe vulnerability is a sign of strength, creativity, and openness. Vulnerability displaces complacency by ensuring we are allowing others to influence where and when we need it. Let’s face it, complacency embeds itself in the inability to think differently. Influence will enable us to consider options.
  2. Challenge the Status Quo –“Today, our very survival depends on our ability to stay awake, to adjust to new ideas, to remain vigilant and to face the challenge of change.” – Martin Luther King Jr. Evaluate your goals often. As complacency sets in, our ability to think differently is minimized by our inability to process anything other than what we already know. Instead of seeing the opportunity to move forward, we wait to seek permission and find ourselves passed up by great opportunities. Lolly Daskell wrote, “Challenging the status quo takes an open mind, open heart and open will.” When we fail to challenge the status quo, we allow complacency to discourage our intentions and thus weaken our ability to contribute to success.
  3. Be Curious – “I have no special talents, I am just passionately curious.” – Albert Einstein. What we know is all we know. Without a curious mind and curious heart, we become stagnant in our thoughts and ideas. This allows complacency to become our comfort place. John Maxwell said, “When you lack curiosity, you breed indifference.”  Indifference leads to ruts and routines and creates a complacent spirit. Curiosity, on the other hand, promotes change and adventure and a desire to always improve.  Curiosity requires wisdom and courage, just like the explorers who first set off around the globe. When you are in exploration mode, you may be moving forward or side-to-side, but you never go backward. You put yourself in a position to create influence rather than falling into the traps of complacency.
  4. Kick Laziness in the Rear –“We often miss opportunity because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison. Complacency results from our lack of desire to allow others to influence, challenging the status quo and the lack of curiosity. Why? Because we prefer to remain idle and do nothing. We are just lazy. We accept where we are and what we have accomplished, and there is no desire to do anything more. This creates a complacent environment where we accept our current position. We may have a desire have a desire to be better than we are, but we don’t do anything to move forward. Laziness puts our careers and relationships on hold. We become stagnant and accept our current performance as ideal. Success has no room for laziness. Become a person who desires perfection! In others words, “Just Do It.”
  5. Keep Hope Alive At All Cost –“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. Regardless of life or business situations, hope will always shine a positive light. Hope drives our desire for accomplishment. Hope is the belief that circumstances in the future will be better. It’s not a wish that things will get better, but an actual belief, even when there may be no evidence that to support it. Talent, skill, and ability gets you in the game, but the hope is the motivation that keeps you there. 

ComplacencyComplacency robs us of our success and achievements. It creates a way of thinking that blocks our ability to achieve the great things we desire. In fact, complacency sneaks up on us so fast that we don’t realize we’ve become complacent until someone points it out. 

Take a pro-active approach to preventing complacency by evaluating your current personal and business position and taking actions to defeat and even avert complacency. Consider these 5 ways to overcome complacency.

 

YOU GOT THE JOB! 7 Questions in 3 Categories to Ask Before You Accept Your Next Job Offer

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I recently found myself in the job market. Even though it was somewhat of a shock, I embraced the idea of looking for a new job with excitement and lots of energy. I didn’t know what to expect or what the outcome may be, but I did know if giving the opportunity to meet face to face, I could influence the individual or group that my experience, knowledge, beliefs, and relationship approach to the profession would result in a positive outcome.

Well, there were more roadblocks than I anticipated along my journey (those will be coming in future blogs). However, I did land several offers, all within a week of each other.

Yes, I made it through the most difficult part of the job search. Well maybe not, deciding on what job to accept and if we were willing to move was pretty difficult in its self.

Throughout this process, I think one of the most difficult things to do was ask the right questions. Questions that provided relevant information to make the right choice. I believe I was so excited that I had an offer, much less multiple offers, that my thought was just to pick the one with the highest salary. Flawed thinking. I didn’t have a job, and I needed a job, so why did it matter. Money is the most essential thing in the position, right? Again, flawed thinking. You need to assess and evaluate all offers based on the role, the company, culture, future, benefits, and salary.

As I began looking at my options and trying to decide on what offer was right for me and my family, I realized I made a few critical interview and follow up mistakes. I didn’t get all the information I needed to make a decision based on sound facts and ultimately intuition.

After the decision was made, I read an article in HR Digest that listed practical questions to ask before you accept a job offer. Reading it, made sense and made me realize I fell short in my preparations for choosing the right offer. Now, I am not saying I picked the wrong position. In fact, I love my job, and it offers excellent challenges with exceptional growth opportunities. However, I believe I could have had a much better understanding of the role and those jobs competing with it.

From that article, I narrow down several questions I feel are relevant to the job search process and any impending offer.

When I began to evaluate each offer and looking back, I realized I should have focused on three main areas. I then identified seven questions in each area I feel are important in the interview process and job offer evaluation.

THE ROLE

Interviewing is a two-way street. The employer is offering you the job, and you are providing the talent.

When you ask questions, it shows interest in the company, gives you more information, and makes the conversation flow between you and the interviewer.

  1. How did this position come to be open?
  2. What does success look like in this role?
  3. What would my immediate priorities be?
  4. What are the most significant challenges people face when they start out in this position?
  5. Who will I report to directly?
  6. What are the expectations of this position over the first twelve months?
  7. How would you measure my success, if I were chosen for this role?

These questions would serve multiple purposes. It would give you a brief idea about how well suited you are for the role or the management style. It also lets the company know you’re motivated, passionate and ambitious in life. Moreover, they will open doors to discuss training, what projects you’ll be working on, and whom you would be working with.

SALARY & BENEFITS

  1. Is the pay negotiable?
  2. What is included as a part of your benefits package?
  3. What kind of opportunities exists for personal growth?
  4. What is the bonus structure? Will I be eligible this year? Is the percentage negotiable?
  5. What metrics or goals will I be evaluated against?
  6. How much paid vacation time will I get per year?
  7. Can I carry over the paid vacation time if I don’t utilize it?

These are specific questions you can ask when considering a job offer. It will make it much easier for you to negotiate on your contract before you join the team.

THE COMPANY CULTURE

  1. Where do you see the company in the next five years?
  2. Can you tell me about your new products or plans for growth?
  3. Would you mind giving me a tour of where this job would take place so I can get a feel of where I’d be working and who I would be working with?
  4. How is work-life balance in the company?
  5. What is the company culture here like?
  6. Would I be able to represent the company at industry events and conferences?
  7. Can I answer any final questions for you?

These are some very good questions to ask before you accept a job offer. It means you’re already thinking about the role you have been offered. You can also find out whether a company is right for you.

It will also help you make a better decision when you’re deciding between multiple offers so you can compare responses.

All You Are Is Full Of Hot Air! Moving From Words To Actions

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c700x420Last Saturday morning I stepped out on my apartment balcony and saw several hot air balloons passing overhead. In fact, one was lifting off from the field across from the complex. As if I were a little kid, I excitedly called my wife over to show her the activity. She reluctantly came, and I began telling her how I was going to buy a hot air balloon, and I would take her up on a beautiful evening flight with a bottle of cabernet, and we would gaze into each other’s eyes into the evening sunset.

She looked at me and said, “All you are is a bunch of hot air.”

Hey wait a minute, I was romantic. Maybe that is why I was “full of hot air.” I am not well known for my romantic side.

Has anyone ever told you, you were full of hot air? If so, you are not alone. I think this post will help you understand why our words should not be hot air but rather backed up by the foundation of our actions.

It came to me that day while watching hot air balloons drifting overhead, that our words have a great impact on those we speak too. In fact, I realized that our words indicate our intended actions, but the follow-through is more important than any word in our vocabulary.

My intention is not to be a know it all, however, I think I know it all. If you don’t know it, then how will you solve it? Another, a fault I have is answering before I thought it out or committing before I realize what I committed to.  Had anyone ever say that to you? I hear it often because I talk too much. Regardless of the situation, I have the answer, and you will listen to it. My intention is not to be a know it all, however, I know it all. If you don’t know it, then how will you solve it? Another, a fault I have is answering before I thought it out or committing before I realize what I committed to.

I hear “you’re full of hot air, or that’s a lot of empty hot air coming from your mouth,” often. Probably because I talk way too much and have to get in everyone’s business to resolve everyone’s problems. Another, a fault I have is answering before I thought it out or committing before I realize what I committed to.Had anyone ever say that to you? I hear it often because I talk too much. Regardless of the situation, I have the answer, and you will listen to it. My intention is not to be a know it all, however, I know it all. If you don’t know it, then how will you solve it? Another, a fault I have is answering before I thought it out or committing before I realize what I committed to.

I know what you’re thinking, stop rambling and tell us what you are going to tell us.  Ok, Ok, got it. Here you go:

  1. Our actions build trust – Without trust, there is no influence, and without influence, there is no leadership. Deliver on what you say, and you begin to create trust.
  2. Our actions show personal responsibility – When, what we speak, is backed up by what we do, people begin to recognize the responsibility we have for achieving the desired outcome.
  3. Our actions create our reputation – You are known by your behaviors and the work you do. Make sure the things you say are truthful and backup by your actions.
  4. Actions show commitment – When we act, we validate our words, thoughts, and ideas.  We move from the verbal to the physical. Actions move our verbal commitment to the tangible result.

Our words are essential. They lay the foundation of our beliefs and our desires. However, they are merely words, actions prove our intentions and reflect our beliefs and desires.

Choose your words carefully, they must be backed up with actions.

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Listen First, Listen Second, Speak When You Understand

/ Denis Baker / Leave a comment

isten firstListening, a task I struggle at. As a coach, trainer and speaker, I tend to be a problem solver. In fact, I think I’m so good, I’ll finish your sentence or thought for you. Why should you waste valuable oxygen. However, I’m finding the oxygen we breath gives a person the ability to take a breath and speak their thoughts, concerns and ideas. In fact, when I allow people to finish their sentence and thoughts, I find many provide valuable solutions or ideas. So as I continue to learn how to control my attention and listen more, I am finding that; from listening comes knowledge and from knowledge comes a true understanding. From understanding comes the wisdom to support or help. And from wisdom, comes the ability to solve problems. The common saying; “God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason”, continues to be true throughout the ages. Learn to listen, and you will be more successful.