words

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

/ Denis Baker / Leave a comment

Your mouth is poison; your mouth is wine.

–The Civil Wars

WHAT WE SAY MATTERS

The words we use can create sparks that can burn down the house. The lyrics from the musical group, “Talking Heads, in their song, “Burning Down the House”, sets the stage for this blog.

My house! Is out of the ordinary

 That’s right! Don’t wanna hurt nobody

 Some things sure can sweep me off my feet

 Burning down the house

Let me break down these lyrics based on our words; 

“My house! Is out of the ordinary.” The atmosphere we create is based on the words we choose.

“We don’t want to hurt anybody.”, Our words can encourage, persuade, defend, or manipulate. They can offend, ruin our relationships, position, or the respect we have with those we lead or influence.

“Some things sure can sweep me off my feet.” Choosing the rights words will determine your effectiveness in influencing  

“Burning down the house.” Chose the wrong words, and watch everything you created, the culture, the relationship, and the influence you had, burn!

OUR WORDS ARE POWERFUL

In the third chapter of the book of James, he says this:

“Consider when a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire.” Verse 7: “All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison.” (NIV)

James wasn’t saying that speaking or words are evil. The fact is, our words are incredibly crucial for influencing others. Our words are essential for building and strengthening those we interact with, so words are important. But he does give us the warning that words can do a lot of damage.

Sometimes one inappropriate word can wreck a career. It can destroy a reputation. When it’s in bad taste, when it’s unfair or unjust, it can burn down a life. It can burn down a whole culture!

It doesn’t matter that you “didn’t mean it” or that you were “just joking.” Sometimes, words just hurt. And we who use them have a responsibility to do so with an awareness of the impact they may have.

In light of the COVID crisis and the racist issues, I spent time re-evaluating the way I think and the approach I take with others. I realize our words determine our beliefs, and that results in the atmosphere we create.

Here are some things to consider about our words:

  1. THINK. Think about what you want to say before you say it. Ask the question, “What if.”. Careless words create frustration.
  2. NOT POLITICAL. Words are not political. They are about respect
  3. CONTEXT. There are occasions in which certain words are not offensive. However, you must ensure you are clear in your position and communicate the FULL meaning of your thoughts.
  4. CORRECT or INCORRECT. You should know what words you are speaking; choose wisely before opening your mouth or writing that angry email or text.
  5. HABITS MATTER. If I speak differently at home than at work, my words will come out, regardless of where I am and who is accompanying me. They will come out unintentionally.
  6. LAZY WORDS. We will all offend someone at some time. Some more than others. Why? Because we are lazy to think before we speak and we are lazy to change the way we think.

So What Now What

Words are invisible sparks. They build up in our brains, and every time we speak a wrong word, they shoot from our tongue. If we continue to speak the wrong things, we will fuel the fire and “BURN DOWN THE HOUSE!”

Just do this…………………THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

All You Are Is Full Of Hot Air! Moving From Words To Actions

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c700x420Last Saturday morning I stepped out on my apartment balcony and saw several hot air balloons passing overhead. In fact, one was lifting off from the field across from the complex. As if I were a little kid, I excitedly called my wife over to show her the activity. She reluctantly came, and I began telling her how I was going to buy a hot air balloon, and I would take her up on a beautiful evening flight with a bottle of cabernet, and we would gaze into each other’s eyes into the evening sunset.

She looked at me and said, “All you are is a bunch of hot air.”

Hey wait a minute, I was romantic. Maybe that is why I was “full of hot air.” I am not well known for my romantic side.

Has anyone ever told you, you were full of hot air? If so, you are not alone. I think this post will help you understand why our words should not be hot air but rather backed up by the foundation of our actions.

It came to me that day while watching hot air balloons drifting overhead, that our words have a great impact on those we speak too. In fact, I realized that our words indicate our intended actions, but the follow-through is more important than any word in our vocabulary.

My intention is not to be a know it all, however, I think I know it all. If you don’t know it, then how will you solve it? Another, a fault I have is answering before I thought it out or committing before I realize what I committed to.  Had anyone ever say that to you? I hear it often because I talk too much. Regardless of the situation, I have the answer, and you will listen to it. My intention is not to be a know it all, however, I know it all. If you don’t know it, then how will you solve it? Another, a fault I have is answering before I thought it out or committing before I realize what I committed to.

I hear “you’re full of hot air, or that’s a lot of empty hot air coming from your mouth,” often. Probably because I talk way too much and have to get in everyone’s business to resolve everyone’s problems. Another, a fault I have is answering before I thought it out or committing before I realize what I committed to.Had anyone ever say that to you? I hear it often because I talk too much. Regardless of the situation, I have the answer, and you will listen to it. My intention is not to be a know it all, however, I know it all. If you don’t know it, then how will you solve it? Another, a fault I have is answering before I thought it out or committing before I realize what I committed to.

I know what you’re thinking, stop rambling and tell us what you are going to tell us.  Ok, Ok, got it. Here you go:

  1. Our actions build trust – Without trust, there is no influence, and without influence, there is no leadership. Deliver on what you say, and you begin to create trust.
  2. Our actions show personal responsibility – When, what we speak, is backed up by what we do, people begin to recognize the responsibility we have for achieving the desired outcome.
  3. Our actions create our reputation – You are known by your behaviors and the work you do. Make sure the things you say are truthful and backup by your actions.
  4. Actions show commitment – When we act, we validate our words, thoughts, and ideas.  We move from the verbal to the physical. Actions move our verbal commitment to the tangible result.

Our words are essential. They lay the foundation of our beliefs and our desires. However, they are merely words, actions prove our intentions and reflect our beliefs and desires.

Choose your words carefully, they must be backed up with actions.

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