communication

Difficulties Creates Influence

/ Denis Baker / Leave a comment

Winston Churchill said, “Don’t argue about the difficulties, the difficulties will argue for themselves.”

We all experience difficulties in our personal and professional lives. But what I have learned is how we respond to these difficulties, determines our ability to continue to influence others. Here is how I approach difficulties;

1.Ask “Why?” once and figure out “What now?”
2.Quit whining, nobody cares!
3.Change what you can and accept what you can’t.
4. Remember, life isn’t fair and there are no guarantees.
5. When difficulties threaten to overcome, look for ways to help and serve others
6. Be grateful for what you have. Regardless of how little it may seem.

It can be exhausting to deal with various difficulties. However, you must persevere to conquer the opportunities to influence.

Difficulties

2017 GOALS, blah, blah, blah……

/ Denis Baker / Leave a comment

As 2017 swings into full gear, I’ve slowly been thinking about what I need to have as my professional and personal goals. My staff and I created a strategic plan, I’ve had each of them create a list of achievable and measurable goals. But for me, well I just can’t seem to get the motivation to generate a list. When I think about it, all I hear in my head are different songs or I’m thinking about what I need to be doing.

Goals…Blah, blah, blah………

He faces difficulties

Then it hit me!

I recently identified four focus areas that apply to my professional and personal life. I thought, why not use them as my goals? So that is exactly what I did!

So for 2017, I don’t have any professional or personal goals, but rather I have four areas of focus!

MAINTAIN PERSISTENCE

Jim Rohn said, If you are persistent, you will get it. If you are consistent you will keep it.” I tell professionals all the time, “in order to achieve behavior modification and ensure sustainable change, we must always be persistent in our expectations, regardless of who and what it is.”  It’s hard to be persistent everyday, every moment, every time. Some days, you simply want to act as if you never saw or heard it. However, persistence establishes expectations and I believe expectations will generate results. My focus is to be more persistent in what I believe is right. I won’t let personalities or politics dictate my actions, but rather find ways to persistently influence for performance.

BE MORE CONSISTENT

Bruce Lee said it so well, “Long term consistency, trumps short-term intensity.” Being consistent in what we do and how we do it, adds stability and expectation to those we lead. Employees need consistent leadership for consistent direction. When you integrate consistency into your life, you realize the reward comes as a result of a process. My focus is to show greater consistency in 2017. I’ll accomplish this by thinking before I speak, and not reacting to a situation. I want to be methodical in my decisions, interactions and actions. Consistency is essential to change and change is needed in my professional and personal life.

HAVE A GREATER SENSE OF URGENCY

Jim Rohn said, “Without a sense of urgency, desire losses its value.” When you know something has to be done, DO IT! A sense of urgency allows a person to accomplish more than others. When we realize our sense of urgency extends beyond our list of goals or projects, we generate results which create value. Value creates influence. When you can influence, you can lead anyone. The longer one waits to accomplish things, the less value one adds. I will accomplish more in 2017, in less time by having a greater sense of urgency to get more done, add more value and have more influence.

INCREASE MY PASSION

Zig Ziglar said, “Know your passion. Follow it. Dream it. Live it.”  I am constantly telling people, “ If you don’t love what you do, then go do something else.” Passion fuels results! It gives us purpose. It is what we believe in. It will turn your have-to’s into I want-to’s. Those with passion will be motivated to succeed, not settle. I have been told many times, that I am a passionate person. However, I want to increase my passion in 2017. I will do this by getting more excited, more engaged, thinking of better ways to do things, get more emotional when I don’t get the results I expected, take more risk, and dream bigger!

There you have it my focus areas for 2017. I believe these four areas will allow me to accomplish more and do it better.

focus

Consider identifying focus areas. I heard it said, “Effective leaders keep one eye one the compass and one eye on the clock.”  Commit to more focus in 2017 and become a more efficient and effective leader.

Denis is a certified Executive/Business Coach, Trainer and Keynote Speaker and owner of Leader Influence LLC. Possessing over 28 years of leadership experience in multiple industries, Denis has cultivated a unique teaching, coaching and speaking style that resonates with participants and attendees.  
He is a passionate influencer committed to teaching and communicating practical and relevant influencing techniques. His uniquely passionate and emotionally driven style resonates with many, planting a desire for change and to become a more effective leader.
Consider Denis for your leadership, personal development or team speaking, training or coaching needs.

 

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TIPS TO GET BETTER AT SMALL TALK

/ Denis Baker / Leave a comment

Women drinking coffeeI recently published a blog titled, “8 Personal Habits That Will Ensure A Good First Impression.” Number 8 on that list was “Initiate Relevant Small Talk”.  I discuss the need for relevant small talk and how it can create a connection and lead to building a relationship.  Effective small talk can provide clues in providing a deeper understanding of that person.

Recently I came across an article titled; “15 Tips to Get Better at Small Talk”written by Patti Johnson with SUCCESS Online.

I wanted to share it with you as I found it to be a great companion article addressing the issue of small talk.

1. Get your mind right.

If you spend the week anticipating and worrying because you know you will feel uncomfortable, you’ve set yourself up for failure. Remember why you are going—to celebrate a friend on his or her special day, to meet others who share your interest or connect with your co-workers.

2. Decide who you’d like to meet before you go.

Take a look at who else will be there and plan to meet those who might share something in common. This might be someone who knows a mutual friend, a fellow baseball fan or a business owner living your dream.

3. Make a game out of it.

Trick your mind into making it seem easier and more fun. Commit to at least an hour. Plan to meet at least five people.   Challenge yourself to learn two new things  This mind shift can help tame the anxiety and make the conversation more fun.

4. Take responsibility for meeting others.

Don’t wait for others to approach you. Say hello first. When you expect others to make the first move, you’ll be disappointed. And the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll be.

5. Don’t be the sidekick.

Rather than being the shadow of the one person you already know, branch out.

6. Have your “go-to” questions ready.

Starting a conversation with a new person can be hard. Try, “How do you know _____?” “What is keeping you busy these days?” or “What brought you to this area?” It doesn’t have to be complicated, just something to get you started if you you’re new acquaintances.

7. Be interested. Listen more than you talk.

Asking questions is the secret ingredient to interesting conversations.  Stay away from yes/no questions. You can naturally start with easy questions that feel natural, but listen for an interesting comment to explore and build upon.

As an example for how your questions might flow:

  •  How do you know Allison?
  •  I didn’t realize you were a graphic designer. What kind of design do you do?
  •  Why did you decide to get into graphic design?
  •  Oh, I went to school in Miami, too! Where are your favorite places to go when you go back?
  •  Do you think of Miami as home? How did you make the move from there to here?

Within a few questions, you can move to more substance and a real conversation.

8. Be yourself!Business people discussing

No one likes the fake networker. In the interest of being more outgoing, don’t be someone you aren’t. Putting out effort doesn’t mean being fake.

9. Compliment and shift.

Find something that you can genuinely compliment the other person on and then shift to a question so it isn’t awkward.

10. Plan a graceful exit.

Every conversation runs its course, but a natural end is hard. Just say, “It’s been great to meet you, and I hope you have the best vacation next week.” Excuse yourself to do something else and move on.

11. Look for others who want to connect.

I recently went to a large celebration event and only knew the busy host. I noticed another guest taking her time at the snack table and introduced myself. We had a great conversation while those around us caught up with longtime friends.

12. Be an introducer.

If you are talking with someone and another guest looks a little uncomfortable, invite him or her into the conversation. Remember the times when you were that uncomfortable person and try to include others.

13. Don’t be the “hammer looking for the nail.”

Your favorite topic isn’t everyone else’s. You might love your new grill or your favorite book or TV show, but don’t assume everyone else is interested. Gauge the conversation and flow with it.

14. Don’t expect too much.

Not every get-together will result in new friends. That’s OK. You still accomplished your goal of going when it was easier not to—you were there supporting a friend or a co-worker. And that is enough.

15. Get in the habit.

Don’t constrain this habit to social events. Say hello to the person next to you on the plane before you grab your headphones (I’m working on this). Talk to your waiter. Ask your Uber driver about his day. The habit of saying hello and listening is a muscle you can develop by working on it every day.

Try some small talk. You might be surprised where it takes you.

8 PERSONAL HABITS THAT WILL ENSURE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION

/ Denis Baker / 2 Comments

Make a Good First Impression

“I’m not judging you!”  Yes you are.  Let’s face it, we all judge people to some degree.  It may be an internal thought or it may be a vocal expression of our thoughts.  Either way, we each have a seat at the judge’s bench.

 

The first 3-5 seconds of an initial encounter is sufficient time for a person to form an initial opinion.

We form these opinions through observing a person’s approach, body language, mannerisms, accent and the way they dress.

So how important are first impressions?  Well it determines if you get the second interview for your dream job or acceptance in the college or university of your choice.  A good first impression can mean a second date and who know what happens after that.  Making a good first impression gets you a meeting with the senior partners in the private equity firm evaluating your business proposal.  No doubt first impressions matter.

1. SMILE – “Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you.” Les Brown

A warm smile is a great start to a good first impression. A warm and confident smile will put both you and the other person at ease. When I interview potential job candidates, the first thing I look for is a genuine smile.  It tells me the person is excited and eager for the chance.  However, any overuse of a smile will come off fake and insincere.

2. BE PRESENT – “As youngsters, my mother taught her children that while we might not be the smartest people around, we could be courteous, polite and considerate of others.” Zig Ziglar

Be attentive to the person or person(s).  Put down your phone and focus on the person and conversation in front of you. Give yourself 100 percent to that other person.  Anything less and you will ruin your chance for a good first impression.

3. BE ON TIME – “I’m on time even when I try not to be.” Diane Kruger

Meeting someone for the first time is not the time to be”fashionably late”.  Save that for your high society meetings and events. I always try to arrive a few minutes early.  Although, not too early.  You don’t want to come off overly eager.  Just remember that people are busy and their schedules are usually full.  One late appointment will affect the whole day’s schedule.  If you’ve ever gone to the Dr., you know what I’m talking about.  Being on time is a show of respect.  That goes a long way in making a good first impression.

4. BE YOURSELF – “Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” Bruce Lee

People can smell a fake.  They know if you are authentic.  Being yourself allows you to be confident and at ease.  This can go a long way in making a good first impression.  However, you need to remain appropriate for the particular situation and express yourself appropriately.

5. SHOW CONFIDENT BODY LANGUAGE- “Body language is a very powerful tool. We had body language before we had speech, and apparently, 80% of what you understand in a conversation is read through the body, not the words.” Debora Bull

As the quote says above, about 80% of what we say is non-verbal.

A business handshakeStand confidently with your back erect and your shoulders square. Hands to your side and feet spread just inside both shoulders.  This is known as the Presidential Stance.  Greet each person with a firm (not hard) hand shake and make eye contact.  Be aware of your nervous habits and move slowly, smoothly and confidently. All of this will help you project confidence and encourage both of you to feel at ease.

6. ASK SMART QUESTIONS THAT INDICATE YOUR’RE LISTENING- “There’’s a difference between listening passively and listening aggressively. To listen with your heart, you have to listen actively.” John C. Maxwell

Be an active listener.  The way you achieve this is by asking questions relevant to what the person is saying.  This indicates your engagement in the conversation.  Resist distraction and resist the temptation of putting yourself first.

7. SHOW SINCERE INTEREST IN PEOPLE – “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” John C. Maxwell

My wife and I went to one of those home improvement stores shopping for a refrigerator.  As we entered the appliance department, a sales person immediately approached and asked if he could help.  We excitedly replied “yes”, and said we are looking for a refrigerator.  As we began giving him our specifications, his phone rang and he immediately answered it!  Without any apology, he began talking and walked away.  The best way to show sincere interest in other people is to show them you care and that they are important and have something unique to offer.  A sincere interest in people will go a long way in making a good first impression.

8. INITIATIVE RELEVANT SMALL TALK – “I’m not great at small talk.” Courtney Cox

I think Courtney’s quote above is probably true of most people.  However, small talk is present in almost every first meeting and we must successfully push through it.  A person’s ability to maximize the content of small talk can provide very useful information in establishing a connection and a good first impression. Small talk can provide clues for relevant questions that initiate a deeper understanding of that person.  How many business deals are done based on attending the same college?  Small talk provides those small details that typically have big results!

CONCLUSION

Making a good impression is simply using common sense and being intuitively aware of the situation you are in. Develop these 8 habits and use them next time you meet someone for the first time.  It could be a life-changing event.

HOW TO KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE IN AN UNCERTAIN ENVIRONMENT

/ Denis Baker / Leave a comment

What a week!  This has been one of unexpected personnel change.  Being a senior leader in the oil and gas services industry, I’ve learned to be flexible.  The current market has created a daily sense of the unknown.  It seems every day I’m walking through a jungle.  Mired deep into the unknown.  Everyday seems to be an adventure to maintain a positive attitude. Sleepless nights are normal.  If five hours of good REM sleep is achieved, I am satisfied and elated.  Worry and anxiety become a normal routine. Our attitudes can take a big hit in an uncertain environment.

However, it doesn’t have to be that way, because we have control over our thoughts and attitude.

ATTITUDEFotosearch_k23073832

Attitude is dependent on your feelings toward something, someone or a situation.  Each person has an inward voice that encourages either self-promotion or self-defeat. Yes, there are some things that happen beyond our control. We all experience disappointment, heartache and difficult situations. However, what we do have control over is our response. Someone once said, “it’s not a matter of what’s happened to you, but rather how you respond to what’s happened.” It’s important to note here, there is a distinct difference between a response and a reaction. A reaction is “a feeling experienced in response to a situation or event.” Reactions are often quick, emotion filled responses. A response, on the other hand, involves more reason. It is a thoughtful, more appropriate answer to a certain situation.  Worry and anxiety will create the negative attitude and the inability to properly view the situation.  It creates a cloudy view.  In doing so, we are unable to properly asses the situation and take the necessary steps to correct it.

WHAT TO DO

So how does one keep a positive attitude and maintain their sanity in an uncertain environment?  I think the answer is easy, but the reality is hard.  As a person of faith, I personally look for my strength through my Lord, Jesus Christ.

However, I supplement my faith through these six (7) practical principles;

Insomnia

  1. STOP, What just happened? I get an email.  There have been personnel changes.  Your phone rings, informing you of something negative. Things are going downhill fast. You’re in a tail spin, making reactive decisions that, unfortunately, compound the problem.  Things are said, actions are taken and regret begins to set in.  What do you do?  Take some time to just step back from the problem and think. This will enable you to rationally deal with the issue at hand, instead of emotionally reacting. Just remember, you don’t have to do anything.
  2. When things go in a direction I didn’t expect, I turn to prayer.  Prayer creates a mindset of humbleness.  Worry and anxiety are turned over to him. I am reminded the circumstances are out my control, why worry and be concerned?
  3. Stick with your goal. Regardless of the situation, stick with your goal and what you know. When trouble hits, it tends to steer our focus off from where it should be. When a pilot encounters trouble, they immediately move into a systematic process to try and solve the problem.  However, they are focused on the goal of landing the plane safely. If they lost sight of their goal, disaster would certainly be imminent. One of the best things to do is to write out your goal(s).  Write out what steps are needed to achieving them.
  4. Analyze and Identify a solution. Sticking with the example above. The pilot will analyze the problems and determine the best solutions.  He/she is not sitting idly by, but rather analyzing the problem and aggressively identifying solutions and next steps.
  5. Surround yourself with encouragement. We all need encouragement.  Especially in a time when situations don’t go our way.  I’ve learned if I continue to dwell on the negative, worry will begin to take over creating a slippery slope downward.  My attitude changes and I have a negative affect on all.  When our backs are against the wall, we must surround ourselves with those who love and care for us and who will encourage our next move.  I look to the scriptures for my encouragement and seek out the wisdom of those I trust.  The book of Psalms has always been a source of encouragement.
  6. Find the good. Count your blessings.  I have a new grand daughter.  My wife and I are a month from our 30th wedding Anniversary.  Things are great.  However, the negative began to creep in.  Was I next? What would we do?  My thoughts began to run wild.  I enjoy my job and my life.  How would it be without it? My thoughts controlled my analysis  I began to panic somewhat.  I immediately stopped myself and focused on the good things.  I have been here before. In 2008, I lost my job.  I was weeks from loosing my house.  I made it through that.  Spend time dwelling on the good things about your life or career instead of the problems. There is an old childhood song that says, “Count your blessings—name them one by one.” That’s great advice! Let your positive attitude develop from within as well as from without. This makes all the difference!
  7. This isn’t forever.“This too shall pass” is a common saying I typically hear from people in difficult situations.   Remember that difficult times are only a season.  Some are longer than others, however it is a season.  We all go through them.  Teddy Roosevelt said, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”  There will be a future where circumstances will change and you will be on top of the mountain instead of down in the valley.

First Sun Light over Mountain Valley - Panorama. Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee

I hope none of you will ever go through anything negative or experience uncertain times.  Unfortunately the reality is you will.  We live in uncertain times.  It is becoming the norm.  There will always be upheaval in life. This will create worry and anxiety and have a negative affect on our attitudes. However, how we handle these times and our reactions will determine the outcome with others. A good attitude in difficult times will encourage others.

Remember to STOP, PRAY, STICK , REFLECT, ANALYZE and IDENTIFY SOLUTIONS, SURROUND AND REMEMBER, THIS ISN’T FOREVER!

AVOID SENDING THE WRONG MESSAGE, Email and Texting Etiquette for Leaders

/ Denis Baker / Leave a comment

Fotosearch_k5844859You’ve been there.  You get an email from a colleague that is accusatory or is downright rude and inappropriate.  The email is addressed to several people.  As you read the email, the words and letters begin to form sentences that spark enraged furry from deep down in your gut.  Your ears turn red and your blood pressure spikes.  How dare that so and so….!!!  You react with self-preservation and vigilance by hitting “Reply All”.  In fact, you decide your boss needs to see this, so you “Bcc” him/her.  Through your fit of rage, you unleash a barrage of words that belittle and berate the original sender.  You do it with a grimace and smirk along with the self-gratification the you will defend yourself and your position to the END and that NO ONE will ever question you again!!!  YOU WON!!!

Immediately, after hitting the send button, you receive a text from your boss.  Yes!  He wants to congratulate you on a great response!  Only when you open the text, it says “meet me in my office first thing in the morning.”  Well, you get the picture.

Is this the behavior and response you would expect from a leader?  I would hope not.  However, I see these types of emails and responses every single day.  And yes, I’ve been guilty of some of the harshest.

Email and texting are two of the greatest forms of communication since the invention of the telephone. They have increased productivity by huge percentages.  People are now connected 24/7.  We can email and text our thoughts and ideas anytime, anywhere.  However, email and texting have also been the worst inventions since the telephone.  Now people can email and text their thoughts and ideas anytime, anywhere.  Most of the time this is without any thought or discernment.  Email and texting have taken the place of face-to-face communication or a phone call.  It’s become the easy way out.  Well, that creates problems when connecting and building relationships.

Leaders must understand the role communication and relationships play in leadership.  In order to ultimately influence people and eventually lead them, we must ensure we continue to connect and build sincere relationships.  Emails and texting, perceived in the wrong way, can disconnect people and ruin relationships.

“Email and texting should never be a substitute for face to face communication or even a phone conversation.”

However, if crafted correctly, these tools can be very effective in re-inforcing your ideas, thoughts or desires.

Here are some rules and etiquette for using email and text.  These rules have become very useful and effective and tend to lessen the chance of responding in a destructive or unprofessional manner.

EMAIL

Fotosearch_k7573769When preparing or crafting an email consider the following thirteen (13) suggestions:

  1. First consider a face-to-face meeting or phone conversation before sending an email.  Especially if the subject and content is sensitive or could be wrongly interrupted.
  2. Send the email only to those that absolutely need to know the information.
  3. Only those addressed in the  “TO” field are required/expected to respond.
  4. Anyone addressed in the “CC” field are being included for “information only.”  “CC” those that may help reinforce your message or need.
  5. Those addressed in the “CC” field should not respond unless they have a compelling reason to reinforce the message or if they have additional information considered valuable to the group.
  6. Make sure the “subject” is an accurate depiction of content.  It should include any dates for deadlines, etc.
  7. Content must be specifically related to your “TO” group. Be specific and clearly communicate your desires, wants or actions.
  8. Always begin an email with a positive statement. The first 5-7 seconds of your email can determine the outcome.
  9. There should NEVER be more than two emails discussing the same subject. 
  10. If there is continued disagreement or confusion, you should set up an in person meeting, conference call or video chat.
  11. READ IT BEFORE YOU HIT SEND AND THEN READ IT AGAIN. Read and re-read your email.  Make sure your grammar, spelling and choice of words portrays the intended tone and message.
  12. Emails should NEVER be used to reprimand, counsel or address disagreements. 
  13. When in doubt…….have a face-to-face conversation.

When replying to emails, consider these ten (10) suggestions:

  1. Read and reflect on the email content prior to replying. Your leadership effectiveness is reflected in your response.
  2. Don’t automatically hit “Reply All”.  This should only be used when needed, and with extreme caution.  You should only use “Reply All” when everyone on the “TO” list requires your response.  Most of the time, it is sufficient to only reply to the person who sent the email.
  3. Be Careful with the “Bcc”. The “Bcc:” option allows you to “blind carbon copy” someone on an email without any of the other recipients knowing. It’s useful in certain instances, such as when sending a message where you wish to keep email addresses private, or when you are requesting information from a group and want to get the responses. However, “Bcc’ing” can also backfire! The best “Bcc” rule of thumb: Never use it for sneaky or “I gotcha” reasons!
  4. Avoid Cursing. Cursing in an email is wrong, ALL the time and EVERY time!!!  End of story.  Don’t do it.  What if the email is forwarded? It can also be used as grounds for harassment and a hostile work environment.   What you write is there forever.  I don’t care what Hillary Clinton and the White House say.  Cursing in an email comes off as being ignorant or showing a lacking intelligence.
  5. Use proper grammar.  Don’t write like you speak, but instead like a professional.  Remember, emails are forwarded all the time.  A poorly written email going to the boss or the board can halt a career very quickly.
  6. Respond Regardless. Everyone deserves a response, even if the email was mistakenly sent to you.  A simple, “I got your email”, or “I think this was sent to me by mistake” will let the sender know they are on your radar.  Be smart and respond to those emails that suggest action, etc. Information only emails don’t necessarily require a response.
  7. Be leery of tone. Each person interprets email tone differently.  A well written email can easily be interpreted as a negative with the use of various words.  In addition, many people use all caps.  When you do this, it usually implies YOUR YELLING AT SOMEONE.  Unless that is your intention (which it shouldn’t), use *asterisks* around the word or words you want to highlight.
  8. No cuteness. There is no room in a professional email for cuteness or emotional acronyms.  No smiley faces, pink dogs, LOL, BTW
  9. Include a professional signature. Include a signature.  Your signature should include; your full name, title, work address and phone number.  When using a quote or image, be careful that it does not offend.  Keep everything professional and business appropriate.
  10. READ IT BEFORE YOU HIT SEND AND READ IT AGAIN. Read and re-read your email. Make sure your grammar, spelling and choice of words portray the intended tone and message.

TEXTING

Texting is easy.  In fact, I think it has become the preferred method of communication.  Co-workers are texting each other as they sit cubicle to cubicle.  Parents are texting children in the next room and, in some cases, from the dinner table to the media room.  Texting has become a connivence, it is faster, simpler and easier.  Even though the “phone” is a voice communication device, texting has become the preferred mode when using it.  It is the lazy way to communicate.

Texting is also gaining acceptance as a formal method of business communication. However, when you are texting for business, it is “imperative you always abide by a specific set of professional etiquette rules”, says career coach Barbara Pachter in her book “The Essentials Of Business Etiquette.”

Here are seven (7) texting principles I found to be very helpful:Fotosearch_k26085789

  1. Be careful with abbreviations. Texting is meant to be a fast form of communication, so we tend to use abbreviations and shortcuts such as “np” (no problem) or “u” (you). But there is such a thing as an inappropriate abbreviation. Use only shortcuts that are widely known or recognized. Ultimately, the safest route is to type out the entire word or phrase.
  2. Be aware of your tone. Texting is a fast and easy way to communicate.  Make sure you use words that set your intended, not perceived tone.  Avoid negative words such as failure, wrong or neglected.  Instead, use please and thank you.
  3. Never send bad news via text.  I had an employee resign via text.  I was shocked.  Needless to say, that bridge was burned.  Keep texting positive.
  4. Don’t change meeting times or venues in a text. Not all people live with their phones in their hands waiting for the ding or vibration.  If you change something and communicate via text, you may need to start without your party.  HOWEVER, you can confirm meeting times or venues through text.  Great way to get a headcount or confirm where you need to be.  Just do it early to give the recipient time to respond.
  5. Always double check when using the voice-to-text feature.  Smartphones allow you to speak your message, which the phone then converts to text.  But a lot can be lost in the translation. Make sure you what is showing as text, before you hit the send button.
  6. Don’t text during a meeting or presentation. This is just rude!  Even if you are doing it under the table or behind a book, the presenter can tell.  As a speaker and trainer, it offended me when I see people looking at their phones.
  7. Darn autocorrect!  This bites me often. Watch the auto correct feature.  A great way to beat this problem is to READ your text before you hit send.

By following these simple rules and abiding by proper etiquette, mastering the ability to craft and send effective emails and text can be easy.   I crafted this blog, not only because of my shortcomings, but due to the many frustrations I often feel when I see these not used.  As a student and teacher of leadership, I want to make sure I do everything possible to influence as many people as I can.  I realize how we respond to emails and text can result in positive or negative consequences.  I want to do everything in my power to keep it positive; I hope you will too.

 

EXCEED YOUR INDIVIDUAL GROWTH WITH A MENTOR

/ Denis Baker / Leave a comment

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The longer I continue in leadership positions, the more I realize how much I really don’t know. In fact, I’m made aware of this each and everyday. I’ve learned; the more I think I know, the more I don’t know and the more I don’t know, the more I need to know! However, one thing I do know, knowledge needs to be transferred to others.

Everything you learn and receive from others is not yours; you are simply a processor of information and it must be passed on. Whether it’s a recent graduate, a technical person, or an experienced professional, I realize that my job as a leader is to transfer knowledge and experience to them. That’s what drives me.

I rFotosearch_k13876036.jpgeflect upon my parents, youth leaders, pastors, coaches, and career professionals who imparted wisdom, knowledge, and experience to me. Without them, I wouldn’t have known how to navigate through life’s challenges. Mentors have been influential in life, impacting both my marriage and my career. In fact, I can recall an individual whom I still lean upon for guidance in my safety career. He has directed, advised, and even scolded me when needed (unfortunately that’s often). Additionally, he has pointed out when I’ve had ideas of significance or times when my attitude needs an adjustment. Everywhere I turn and in almost every conversation, there seems to be an opportunity to either mentor someone or to be mentored myself. I came across this statement the other day; “It’s hard to improve when you have no one to follow but yourself.” To me, this quote reiterates the belief that influence develops through experiences with others.

Identifying the right person to advise you is equally important to what you learn. So, how do you identify and chose a mentor? Below are 10 questions to ask before considering a personal mentor in your own life.

  1. Are they a leader? – John Maxwell concludes, “It takes a leader to know one, show one and grow”If they haven’t experienced it, done it, or taught it, I question whether they are ready to mentor. Identify those who are successful in their professional or personal endeavors. Look for someone who is respected and viewed by others as a leader. When identifying a mentor, seek someone whom you regard highly. You don’t have to aim too though; if you’re pursuing politics…do you need the President of the United States as you mentor?
  1. Are they open and available? – A mentor must be willing and open to share their experiences (the good and the bad) as well as personal insight. After all, mentorship is a transfer of knowledge. Will they be available to meet on a regular basis? Mentorship is best accomplished through face-to-face interactions.
  1. Can I trust them? – Is the person trustworthy? Do they possess integrity, ethics and the same moral compass you desire? Do they have wisdom to make sound decisions and solve problems? It’s through knowledge and experience of seasoned mentors that problems and situations can be resolved in a correct manner. A wise mentor can guide you through a situation with only a few words; this in turn allows growth through your own experience.
  1. Are they transparent, egocentric, or arrogant? – It’s important to note that even mentors make mistakes; however, does that person readily admit his or her shortcomings to you? When identifying mentors, seek those who are willing to share their experiences, even if some are unpleasant.
  1. Do you “buy into” what this person is about?  – Plain and simple, do they influence you in the right way? In other words, you must be of the same mind before allowing your mentor to influence. I know many successful professionals, but for one reason or another, I simply cannot consent to what they say or how things are done. Maybe it’s in the way they treat others or how tasks are accomplished. Don’t chose a mentor based solely upon their accolades, examine the person as a whole.
  1. Do they honor their commitments, have the respect of others, and consistently model excellence? – A mentor must honor their commitments. If they continually cancel appointments or never answer their phone (via voicemails, emails, texts, etc.), then they are not the right fit for you. Search for those whom others respect and speak highly of. In my own experience, I’ve found that if a person honors commitments and is respected by others, then they often model excellence within their own lives.
  1. Are they relationship builders? – Mentorship is a relationship. A mentor must convey the sense that they care about you and your future. If not, then why are they investing? Is it for self gain? I am not speaking of mere friendship, but rather about connection and a relationship where the individual is committed to helping you reach your potential. If there is no relationship, you will feel frustrated and fall short of expectations.
  1. Do they recognize mentorship as a long-term process? – Mentoring someone requires time and effort, as well as consistency. When evaluating potential mentors, ask questions to ensure their long-term commitment. 
  1. Do they raise good questions?  A good mentor will actively listen to you and assess where you stand. They must be creative in asking open-ended questions, further accelerating conversation. Remember, answers satisfy people’s understanding, but questions deepen them.Fotosearch_k1010396.jpg
  1. Are they willing to have those hard, uncomfortable conversations? – A good mentor will hold you accountable for your actions and failures. You need someone who is willing to expose the truth, rather than guard your delicate feelings. Expectations can be attained if you are held accountable.

The right mentor can accelerate your personal and professional development; the wrong mentor can destroy it. Nevertheless, if you are detailed, prudent and purposeful in your evaluation of potential mentors, you can ensure advancement, growth, and success in your life. Someone once said, “you pay for consultants, not mentors” and I believe that this statement is spot-on. If you “purchased” a mentor, then they wouldn’t be truly committed to you. Likewise, you can’t earn a mentor but rather, you earn a mentor’s attention.

Therefore, work hard in all due diligence to identify a mentor in you own life. I hope these 10 questions will serve as a guide on your endeavor and that you will recognize the importance a mentor has upon personal growth. I’ve heard some say, “The teacher appears when the student is ready,” but I say the following is true; “The student appears when the teacher is ready.”

 

Don’t Be a Liar in 2016, Identify Principles, Not Resolutions

/ Denis Baker / Leave a comment

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As you consider 2016, commit to what makes you better, not what makes you a liar.

Resolutions will make a liar out of you every time!  Instead, focus on the things you can control and achieve. It is all about your principles.

Here are 11 principles I am committed to in 2016.

  • SET WRITTEN GOALS –  Have WRITTEN goals that are achievable, but stretch you personally and professionally.  However, make sure you have some that are easy wins.  The easy wins motivate me to attack the more difficult one’s.
  • BECOME A BETTER COMMUNICATOR – Learn to listen more and ask great questions.  I had this on my list last year. Biggest issue I have.  I love to hear my own voice.  However, I found I can help more people by listening more than talking and engaging that person with relevant smart questions.  As a better listener, I can serve those I lead and company employees better and more effectively.
  • BECOME MORE ENGAGED – I continue to believe that every professional must be engaged in the work of those they lead, or as a safety professional, we must truly understand what people do, how they do it and what barriers exist.  You can’t influence if you don’t know how to add value!!  I put over 35,000 miles on my vehicle visiting locations and employees!
  • BE MORE PATIENT – Learn to be more patient with people and be more patient for the desired results.  Another challenge for me. Realize that it takes time to see results.  Leaders are leading to change a culture.  It takes time to change the way people think. Know what you want the end result to be and work steadily and patiently towards that.
  • BREAK DOWN BARRIERS – Identify what is creating friction.  Is it a person? a process?, lack of communication? Departments or individuals with competing agendas can slow or stall goals and affect company and individual performance.  Realize we are not in competition with each other, but rather we are in competition with the competition.  Be transparent, share information and help others succeed.  Zig Ziglar said;

You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

  • BECOME RESILIENT TO FAILURE – Along the same thought process as patience, you must become resilient to failure.  beresilient-pocketcards-new1-1020x1020_4403_700x700Learn to fail forward.  Your approach to failure will have an impact on the outcome.  Embrace the failure and use it to gain success.
  • BE PROACTIVE – Become more aware of trends within the organization.  By listening to the talk and becoming aware of people’s actions, the words they choose and the trends within the industry, you can create or make changes to programs, goals and training that allows you to stay ahead of the “game”.  For Safety Professionals like myself, that means a reduction of risk resulting in less incidents.
  • TAKE MORE CHANCES -Ready, Fire, Aim!!! Doesn’t everyone in my group and company hear that a lot.  Just ask them.    I learned this term 25 years ago at another company. I believe if you don’t take chances, you won’t be successful.  John Maxwell says, “first always wins”.  Be creative.  Think differently to solve problems or make things better. Identify what needs to be done, DO IT and we will improve it.  If you never do it, you will never know the result.
  • NETWORK MORE – Networking is the single greatest activity you can do to increase your net worth.  My connection to an individual, put me in the position I hold now.  I now make more money and have the best job  I’ve ever had!  It is frequently said that “it is not what you know but who you know”.  It amazes my how many professionals do not make an effort to network.  I lost my job in November 2008.  It was through a former associate that I received my next job.  Networking is crucial for career advancement and recognition as a true professional or expert.  BE ACTIVE ON LINKED and keep your profile up to date.  I am consistently surprised (shouldn’t be) at how many professionals (especially sales) do not even have a LinkedIn profile.  You never know when you will need help and who can help!
  • VOLUNTEER/SERVE MORE – Become active in your community, professional organizations, church , etc.  JUST VOLUNTEER!!  I volunteer on a couple of boards, I am President Elect (President in second half of year) for my local professional organization, AVP for the Regional Professional Organization, speak for free at multiple organizations and conferences,  and volunteer my time with the local high schools in the OKC area.  I believe this builds character and humility while making others better.
  • INVEST IN YOURSELF – How can you lead others, if you don’t grow your yourself?  You can’t!!  READ,READ, READ…………….fiction and non-fiction.  Reading stimulates the brain and expands your creativity.  I use to hate to read, now I love it.  invest-in-yourself-600x300My goal is to read at least 1 new book per month.  Reading gives me a lot of my ideas and creates a sense of knowledge for solving most problems.  If I don’t know the answer, I read.  Commit to attending meetings, conferences and training that stretches you and provides a greater expansion of your personal and professional knowledge.

I quit making New Year’s Resolutions a long time ago. Ok, Ok, Ok, I will eat less fatty foods, cut down on the sweets (maybe) and exercise  more.  I never succeeded or followed through with many of my new year’s resolutions.  Instead, I’ve learned to identify things I would do daily, monthly or throughout the year to make me an overall better person.

That’s how I  came up with these 11 things.  This isn’t the first time I wrote these.  This has been my life for the last few years.  These 11 principles continue to mold and shape me and will make meFotosearch_k12215246 a better husband, father, GRANDFATHER (in April), professional, leader and overall a better person.

What about you? 

INFLUENTIAL LEADERS ARE EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATORS, 10 Principals to Becoming a Better Communicator

/ Denis Baker / Leave a comment

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GREAT LEADERS ARE GREAT COMMUNCIATORS.! I can’t think of any influential leader that is not a good communicator. Think about it. Everyone you respect as a leader can communicate effectively in every situation, good or bad, stressful or easy, big or small. As leaders, the way we approach and talk to people has a direct impact on the outcome. I wanted to write this piece because of my past (and sometimes present) way of approaching people and interacting with them. This is an area I have been working very hard on.

When I think about influence, I think about the initial contact, interaction and then the forthcoming communication1communication. Throughout my career, I have come to realize that influential people and those who have great interactive skills are able to recognize the situation and adjust their approach quickly to enable the most effective outcome.

To become an influential leader, you must learn to anticipate the reaction of people and use the correct tone and inflection to motivate the employee to react and respond appropriately. Remember, leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. So we must develop a communication method that allows for influence.

We all communicate, right? But what is communication? Ask anyone on the street and they will likely include the word, “talking”. Well, communicating definitely includes talking. But, is it simply talking? I define talking as a prearranged group of vowels and consonants expelled with an abundance of hot air to address a particular thought or answer. So I concede that communication does include talking certainly; however, communication must go beyond talking and into connecting.

In John Maxwell’s book, Everyone Communicates, But Few Connect, he discusses communication going way beyond words as revealed through a study conducted by UCLA Professor, Albert Mehrabian. Professor Mehrabian discovered that face-to-face communications could be broken down into three components: words, tone of voice, and body language. What may come as a surprise is that in some situations, what people see us do and the tone we use can far outweigh any words we say whth-33ile trying to communicate. If we can maximize the use of these three components in a conversation then we can become very effective communicators resulting in a positive interaction and greater ability to influence.

How do you become a better communicator and ultimately an Influential Leader? Through my own study and desire to improve, I have come up with 10 principles you can use to improve. Follow these and have greater influence.

  1. Know Who You are Talking To or Dealing With – Leaders who communicate effectively realize they are responsible for their reactions and are very careful to create a non-threatening atmosphere. They always seem to be in control of a conversation, but not over-powering. They don’t worry about sounding important, having power or being the “expert.” Instead, they think about what needs to be addressed and ultimately what needs to be said. They are thoughtful about how they can deliver this message so that people will be able to hear it.  Leaders communicate expectations and tell people what’s important for them to know, even if it’s negative.
  2. Evaluate Body Language – Influential Leaders constantly track people’s reactions to their message. You must recognize the changes in body language including facial expressions, body stances, etc. Is the person facing you, looking down or rolling his/her eyes? Body language is feedback. Many times, this is the only feedback you will get. Learn to read body language and you can tailor your message to adjust the way we interact as needed.
  3. Be Honest and Factual – People who are influential leaders are honest in their communication. They don’t stretch or exaggerate the circumstances. They certainly don’t lie to make their point or look good to others. They are transparent people that admit if they don’t have all the facts or can’t share information.   They don’t use the politician method of creating circular answers that never address the issue. Influential leaders understand that lies and half-truths create dissention, distrust and anxiety.
  4. Be Who You Are Regardless of the Situation- Don’t be someone you’re not! People will find out the real you. Position or prestige doesn’t change who you are. Look at professional athletes. They become rich and famous, but they are who they are regardless of the amount of money they have or how many highlight reels they make. There’s a reason Mark Zuckerberg presented Facebook to investors in a hoodie and jeans. This is who he is and he knows the value of staying true to who he is. People will be open and allow you to influence if they believe you are who you and nothing more.
  5. Speak With Authority and Conviction – If you believe it, then say it! Don’t use words that you can’t say or don’t know the meaning of. President George W. Bush was the master of making up words. This often watered down or moved the focus from his points. However, he often spoke with authority and conviction giving credibility to his thoughts and desires. Influential Leaders speak directly to and with authority in the things they are passionate about and are clear on their desires and intended outcomes.
  6. Speak to Groups as Individuals – Leaders rarely have the luxury of speaking to one person at a time. Whether they’re addressing a toolbox topic or conducting a keynote with 5,000 people, influential leaders know how to work the crowd or group and make every single person feel as if he or she is being spoken to directly.
  7. Use Your Ears for More Than Hanging Glasses – Influential leaders realize that listening is far more than hearing. They understand that we listen not to reply, but to understand. When someone else is speaking, great communicators aren’t thinking ahead and planning what they’ll say next. Instead, they’re actively listening, fully focused on understanding the other person’s perspective. Leaders must listen to employees and seek to understand their concerns, hesitations and struggles.
  8. Be Humble – Influential leaders are not afraid to use phrases such as; “It’s My Fault,” “I Was Wrong,” and “I’m Sorry”. Humble leaders admit mistakes right away and are not driven by drama or false humility.
  9. Ask for Feedback – Influential leaders are always looking for ways to improve their communication and interaction. They are not afraid to ask how they can become better and more effective. They realize we see and hear our actions and words based on our intent, while others see and hear through our actual actions and words. If you are good, asking for feedback will make you better. If you are bad, it will improve you.   Either way, you will become better at communicating and interacting.
  10. Be Proactive, Not Reactive – Influential Leaders are proactive in responding to situations and rumors by being open and transparent in their communications. They are very clear in their directions and expectations and are always providing necessary feedback to ensure people don’t waste their time on things that don’t matter.

InfluenceAs I stated at the beginning, “Influential Leaders must become effective communicators. You will stand out and people will be drawn to you. Is it because of your effective influence or your destructive influence? When you implement these 10 principles, you become a better communicator with greater influence.