Trust, The Glue That Bonds Relationships

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ~Ernest Hemingway

According to Steven Covey, “Trust is the glue of life.  It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication.  It’s the foundational principle that upholds all relationships”. Trust is crucial in the leadership process.  In fact, trust is required for effective leadership.  Trust can be described simply by comparing it to pocket change.  Every right decision puts change in your pocket.  Every poor decision takes change from your pocket.  The key is to increase your pocket change, rather than always paying it out.  Sure we all make mistakes. And each mistake cost us some coins from our pocket.  However, employees are tolerant of mistakes as long as we are transparent, quick to humility and strive to regain their confidence.

In his book, Leadership 101, John Maxwell shares three qualities a leader must exhibit to gain trust; competence, connection and character.  Violate any one of these three qualities, and you will lose the trust of those who follow.  Trust is doing what’s right because it’s right.  Mackey and Sisodia state in their book, Conscious Capitalism; “the right actions undertaken for the right reasons generally lead to good outcomes over time.”  I don’t think anyone can remain a leader if he or she continues to make poor decisions and break the trust of employees.  When we break trust, we damage the relationship. Relationships can be repaired, but with much work and effort.

In fact, a leader can’t be a leader if there is no trust because trust leads to influence.  If people don’t trust you, you can’t have influence.  Without influence, you can’t lead.

Build sincere relationships and out of your sincerity, will come trust. Only then will you be able to influence and achieve effective leadership.

trust-fall

Legacy, It’s Our Time, Our Moment

Legacy word

We are but a speck in the moment of time situated between the past and future. We sit in the present. Every breath we breathe, every word we say, every decision we make; contributes to our legacy. Every single moment of every single day, we are creating the legacy we leave behind.

That scares me to death. However, it also creates an excitement deep within my soul. The time is now for us to create the legacy we want to leave.  

It’s our time, It’s our moment. Do something great!

We determine our legacy by our actions. However, legacy begets legacy and therefore what we do and how we do it, sets the stage for future legacies.  We all have our own lineage legacies that are the basis for who we are.  It is up to us to carry the torch or change for the future.  It is our moment and our time to shine.

We must influence others to change what is necessary to create a stronger legacy for the future.  We must be the example we want others to follow.

Albert Schweitzer said; “Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it’s the only thing.”

We build our legacy from who we are and who we’ve become.  It is reflected in our actions and our social footprint.  This begins with a deep respect for our deepest values. What is it we hold most sacred? What is our purpose here? What can we pass on or teach? What is our place?  The answers to these questions are determined by our character. Character is the mark left on us by life and will be the mark left on our legacy. It’s the impact we make while we are here and the trace we leave when we are gone.

Character is what defines us.  It’s what people see.  It’s what people will say about us when we are gone.  Character is one of the most important things we have.   Character is cultivated from of our faith, commitment and the responsibility we take for our actions.

John Wooden said, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while reputation is merely what others think you are.”

CONCLUSION

Our time is limited. Understanding that life is fragile and not guaranteed is crucial in the decisions we make and actions we take. I believe our greatest responsibility is to honor those who came before us and those who will come after. The legacy we leave will be reflected in the life we live. Our actions today will echo beyond our time, creating our legacy.

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My legacy

INITIATIVE MAKES A LEADER, 30 Quotes That Encourages One to Take Initiative

InitiativeInitiative is something I write on often.  In fact, my last blog was on initiative, the concept of Ready, Fire, Aim. I continue to write on this subject, because it is something that seems to be lacking in the workforce and leaders in general.  And honestly, it is an area I seem to struggle in.

By definition, leaders cannot wait.  If they do, they are not leaders, but merely followers. I think initiative takes a little bit of faith bathed in risk.  Many times, you must take initiative on something with limited knowledge or insight and rely mostly on your intuition , or “gut felling”.

For those who want to be successful and effective leaders, one must take initiative.  If we never try, we will never know.  In fact, one will always be wondering, “what if”.

The hardest thing about taking initiative, is well, taking initiative.  To help motivate and encourage you to take more initiative, here are 30 quotes that will encourage you to take initiative.

  1. “Genius is initiative on fire”, Holbrook Jackson
  2. “Initiative is doing the right things without being told”, Elbert Hubbard
  3. “Without initiative, leaders are simply workers in leadership positions”, Bo Bennett
  4. “Employers and business leaders need people who can think for themselves – who can take initiative and be the solution to problems”, Stephen Covey
  5. Never relinquish the initiative, Charles de Gaulle
  6. “Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit”, Conrad Hilton
  7. Be willing to make decisions. That’s the most important quality in a good leader. Don’t fall victim to what I call the ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome. You must be willing to fire, T. Boone Pickens
  8. “I would rather regret the things I have done than the things I have not”, Lucille Ball
  9. “If you don’t make dust, you eat dust”, Motto of Jack A. MacAllister
  10. “Eagles don’t flock”,Ross Perot
  11. Even if you’re on the right track you’ll get run over if you just sit there, Will Rogers
  12. “An idea is worthless unless you use it”, John Maxwell
  13. “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved”, William Jennings Bryan
  14. “If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it”, Jonathan Winters
  15. “Everyone who’s ever taken a shower has an idea. It’s the person who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it who makes a difference”, Nolan Bushnell
  16. If opportunity doesn’t knock- build a door”-Milton Berle
  17. “You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there”, Edwin Louis Cole
  18. “When eagles are silent, parrots begin to chatter”, Winston Churchill
  19. “Initiative is to success what a lighted match is to a candle”, Orlando Battista
  20. “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing”, Walt Disney
  21. “The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch”, Jim Rohn
  22. “Most people spend their entire lives on a fantasy island called ‘Someday I’ll”, Denis Waitley
  23. “Chance favors those in motion”, James Austin
  24. “Just begin and the mind grows heated; continue, and the task will be completed!”, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  25. “Two sure ways to fail: Think and never do, or do and never think”, Zig Ziglar
  26. “You can’t do everything at once, but you can do something at once”, Zig Ziglar
  27. “If you want to accomplish anything in life, you can’t just sit back and hope it will happen. You’ve got to make it happen”, Chuck Norris
  28. “You don’t have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great”, Les Brown
  29. “Implement now, perfect later”, Larry Winget
  30. The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones”, William Faulkner

Initiative and Success

READY, FIRE, AIM, The Initiative Concept for Leadership Abundance and Success

Ready Fire AimIf you know what to do, then just do it!  I could probably stop right there and have the shortest blog I’ve ever written.  But that would be boring.

As a leader, one of the most frustrating things is to have someone on my team not take the initiative to make things happen.  Instead they sit back and wait for direction, or constantly need my approval that their path or ideas are right.

I want people that are willing to take risks, learn from their mistakes and accomplish what they never thought could be done.  I encourage and expect my staff to embrace the idea of READY, FIRE, AIM!  A concept I learned years ago and I have refined recently.

Let me break the term down:

  • READY – Identify what needs to be accomplished and evaluate what it takes to fully and completely accomplish the task or idea.
  • FIRE – Go do it!  Don’t wait.  Be the swoosh in NIKE and “Just Do It.”  For my inner circle, there are very few times where this concept wouldn’t apply.
  • AIM – Once you “Do It”, then tweek as needed.  If you did your due diligence in the READY phase, there should be very little need to correct things.

These three simple words can create extreme success in your leadership and success in the workplace.

Here are three examples of people who embraced the concept of READY, FIRE, AIM:

  1. Elon Musk – When you make millions off of an internet company like PayPal, the world generally expects you to, well, create and make more millions off of another internet company. But Elon Musk’s dreams lay elsewhere: Rather than follow a more conventional career path, Musk took the money he had made at PayPal and invested it in two of his own highly innovative startups, SpaceX and Tesla. Though his attempt at operating these two ventures at once nearly sent both companies into bankruptcy, it seems to have ultimately paid off—today, both SpaceX and Tesla thrive.
  2. Sylvester Stallone – With a baby on the way and too little money to pay the rent on his Hollywood apartment, Sylvester Stallone sat down and wrote the screenplay for Rocky in less than four days. Producers loved it and offered him big bucks to bring the story to life—but Stallone, as down-and-out as he was, refused to take any offer if he wasn’t allowed to play the lead role in the film.  Rocky ultimately ended up pulling in millions of dollars and skyrocketing Sly into fame.
  3. Travis Kalanick: Uber – Travis is a great example of Ready, Fire, Aim.  If he become discouraged with failure, Uber wouldn’t exist.  Founded the company Scour Inc., a multimedia search engine, and Scour Exchange, a peer-to-peer file sharing service. Two years later, the company would come under fire from several big name music and film agencies for copyright infringement, forcing Scour to eventually succumb to bankruptcy.  In 2007, Kalanick and Garrett Camp founded Uber. After facing some early competition and funding concerns, the ridesharing app is now the most widely used app of its kind. Kalanick created three companies; one failed, but that did not stop him from taking the risk.

Taking initiative is an important part of most any job and is critical to increasing your influence and ultimately your leadership.  However, the reality is that not many of us will not end up as successful as Elton, Sylvester or Travis.  But I can say people who take initiative, are people I want in my inner circle.  And I bet that is the way many leaders feel.

I agree with Conrad Hilton said, “Success seems to be connected with action.  Successful people keep moving,.  They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” 

Don’t keep talking about it, just “DO IT.”

swoosh

AUTHENTIC INTEGRITY

I was talking with a group of people the other day when one of them began talking about how much integrity they had and how they strive to do the right thing always. That statement caught me by surprise, because I know this person and have had many discussions concerning their lack of integrity.  It made me realize two things.

  1. If you have to have tell someone you have integrity, you probably don’t.
  2. Authentic integrity is built within a person’s character through their actions.

Authentic integrity is the foundation of a person’s credibility.  Credibility creates confidence and that confidence allows influence.

“Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do” – Don Gater.

Someone once said,

“You are already of consequence in the world if you are known as a man of strict integrity”.

That’s how essential integrity is in your personal life. In fact, if you have nothing else, authentic integrity will catapult you past everyone else.

Dwight Eisenhower said, “The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible.

I agree with Eisenhower. I cannot emphasize enough about the importance of having authentic integrity if you want true leadership in your life.

Integrity gives you so much as a leader; credibility, trust, confidence, influence and much more.

Be a person of integrity and be a person who people want to follow.

Integrity Seal

Difficulties Creates Influence

Winston Churchill said, “Don’t argue about the difficulties, the difficulties will argue for themselves.”

We all experience difficulties in our personal and professional lives. But what I have learned is how we respond to these difficulties, determines our ability to continue to influence others. Here is how I approach difficulties;

1.Ask “Why?” once and figure out “What now?”
2.Quit whining, nobody cares!
3.Change what you can and accept what you can’t.
4. Remember, life isn’t fair and there are no guarantees.
5. When difficulties threaten to overcome, look for ways to help and serve others
6. Be grateful for what you have. Regardless of how little it may seem.

It can be exhausting to deal with various difficulties. However, you must persevere to conquer the opportunities to influence.

Difficulties

BECOME A LEADER WHO INFLUENCES THE INFLUENCERS

To be an effective leader we must influence.  We’ve all seen John Maxwell’s quote, “Leadership is Influence, Nothing More, Nothing Less.”  People who can influence can lead.  But how does one become a leader of leaders?  The obvious answer is to influence the influencers.

Balancing a team leader with a great team. A team of three executives stands on a balance where the counterweight is a great team leader.

How do you influence the influencers?  It begins by identifying your strengths and weaknesses and making adjustments as necessary. In addition to your basic influence, you increase your influence on the influencers by;

  1. Being fully in the game – Follow and align with the organizations vision and goals, regardless of what you think.  Influencing the influencers; means being a team player. Remember; Power comes to those who live under authority.
  2. Use your strengths to help others succeed – Les Brown said, “help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.”  Influencing the influencers; means remembering there are others that need your help.
  3. Ask for feedback – How can you exceed expectations if you don’t know if you are meeting expectations. Influencing the influencers; means knowing how to exceed expectations.
  4. Just Do it – My favorite saying, “Don’t tell me what you’re going to do, show me what you’ve done!”  Influencing the influencers; requires achieving more than others and doing it better.
  5. Ready, Fire, Aim – Do what you need to do to, to accomplish what you need to accomplish.  Remember the saying ,“It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.” Influencing the influencers; means being first, because first always wins!
  6. ALWAYS see the bigger picture through the weeds – Sanford I. Weill said, “The details create the big picture.”  Influencing the influencers; means seeing the big picture in all circumstances.
  7. Give second chances – We all make mistakes, some more than others (talking about myself).  Influencing the influencers; requires recognizing we all make mistakes and helping others become successful.
  8. Hold yourself and others to high standards – My staff knows this principle well.  If we can’t exceed expectations, how can we expect others to do the same. Only those who think great, become great!  Influencing the influencers; means doing it better all the time, every time.
  9. Ask good questions – Become good at asking questions.  “Answers inform, questions transform”, John Maxwell.  Influencing the influencers; means having the answers before everyone else does.
  10. Be persistent – Don’t give up, EVER!  Don’t stop until you accomplish what you set out to achieve and then achieve more!  Influencing the influencers; requires persistence in the things that matter.
  11. Be consistent – Avoid impulsive decisions and think before you speak.  Influencing the influencers; requires consistency in our actions and behaviors.
  12. Call out the elephant in the room – The Old English used a term, “There it is”.  It was used when calling out the obvious or ridiculous in something or someone.  Not addressing an obvious issue is passing up a chance to influence and more than  likely being viewed as intimidated.  Influencing the influencers; requires guts and courage.
  13. Assemble an inner circle that believes in the vision – John Maxwell said, “A leaders potential is determined by those closest to him/her.”  Influencing the influencers; requires exceptional influence from you and your entire team.
  14. Be direct, but respectful –  It’s important to speak your mind when the timing is right.  However, be respectful in all conversations.  Influencing the influencers; requires people with the audacity to get to the point and do it respectfully.   
  15. Admit your mistakes and fix them – No need for excuses, just admit the wrong doing and make it right.  Influencing the influencers; requires humility, not arrogance.
  16. Seek wisdom from the wise and obtain knowledge from those who have walked before you –  Some know the way because of the wisdom they posses.  Some know the way, because of the experiences they’ve experienced.  Influencing the influencers; requires seeking counsel and advice when needed.Leader speaking / 3D render image representing an leader speaking in front of a crowd

Those who influence the influencers, are those who influence those who have influence. In other words, to lead leaders, you must influence those who lead others.  Do what you do well and lead those you lead with conviction and passion and you will find yourself leading leaders.

2017 GOALS, blah, blah, blah……

As 2017 swings into full gear, I’ve slowly been thinking about what I need to have as my professional and personal goals. My staff and I created a strategic plan, I’ve had each of them create a list of achievable and measurable goals. But for me, well I just can’t seem to get the motivation to generate a list. When I think about it, all I hear in my head are different songs or I’m thinking about what I need to be doing.

Goals…Blah, blah, blah………

He faces difficulties

Then it hit me!

I recently identified four focus areas that apply to my professional and personal life. I thought, why not use them as my goals? So that is exactly what I did!

So for 2017, I don’t have any professional or personal goals, but rather I have four areas of focus!

MAINTAIN PERSISTENCE

Jim Rohn said, If you are persistent, you will get it. If you are consistent you will keep it.” I tell professionals all the time, “in order to achieve behavior modification and ensure sustainable change, we must always be persistent in our expectations, regardless of who and what it is.”  It’s hard to be persistent everyday, every moment, every time. Some days, you simply want to act as if you never saw or heard it. However, persistence establishes expectations and I believe expectations will generate results. My focus is to be more persistent in what I believe is right. I won’t let personalities or politics dictate my actions, but rather find ways to persistently influence for performance.

BE MORE CONSISTENT

Bruce Lee said it so well, “Long term consistency, trumps short-term intensity.” Being consistent in what we do and how we do it, adds stability and expectation to those we lead. Employees need consistent leadership for consistent direction. When you integrate consistency into your life, you realize the reward comes as a result of a process. My focus is to show greater consistency in 2017. I’ll accomplish this by thinking before I speak, and not reacting to a situation. I want to be methodical in my decisions, interactions and actions. Consistency is essential to change and change is needed in my professional and personal life.

HAVE A GREATER SENSE OF URGENCY

Jim Rohn said, “Without a sense of urgency, desire losses its value.” When you know something has to be done, DO IT! A sense of urgency allows a person to accomplish more than others. When we realize our sense of urgency extends beyond our list of goals or projects, we generate results which create value. Value creates influence. When you can influence, you can lead anyone. The longer one waits to accomplish things, the less value one adds. I will accomplish more in 2017, in less time by having a greater sense of urgency to get more done, add more value and have more influence.

INCREASE MY PASSION

Zig Ziglar said, “Know your passion. Follow it. Dream it. Live it.”  I am constantly telling people, “ If you don’t love what you do, then go do something else.” Passion fuels results! It gives us purpose. It is what we believe in. It will turn your have-to’s into I want-to’s. Those with passion will be motivated to succeed, not settle. I have been told many times, that I am a passionate person. However, I want to increase my passion in 2017. I will do this by getting more excited, more engaged, thinking of better ways to do things, get more emotional when I don’t get the results I expected, take more risk, and dream bigger!

There you have it my focus areas for 2017. I believe these four areas will allow me to accomplish more and do it better.

focus

Consider identifying focus areas. I heard it said, “Effective leaders keep one eye one the compass and one eye on the clock.”  Commit to more focus in 2017 and become a more efficient and effective leader.

Denis is a certified Executive/Business Coach, Trainer and Keynote Speaker and owner of Leader Influence LLC. Possessing over 28 years of leadership experience in multiple industries, Denis has cultivated a unique teaching, coaching and speaking style that resonates with participants and attendees.  
He is a passionate influencer committed to teaching and communicating practical and relevant influencing techniques. His uniquely passionate and emotionally driven style resonates with many, planting a desire for change and to become a more effective leader.
Consider Denis for your leadership, personal development or team speaking, training or coaching needs.

 

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8 PERSONAL HABITS THAT WILL ENSURE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION

Make a Good First Impression

“I’m not judging you!”  Yes you are.  Let’s face it, we all judge people to some degree.  It may be an internal thought or it may be a vocal expression of our thoughts.  Either way, we each have a seat at the judge’s bench.

 

The first 3-5 seconds of an initial encounter is sufficient time for a person to form an initial opinion.

We form these opinions through observing a person’s approach, body language, mannerisms, accent and the way they dress.

So how important are first impressions?  Well it determines if you get the second interview for your dream job or acceptance in the college or university of your choice.  A good first impression can mean a second date and who know what happens after that.  Making a good first impression gets you a meeting with the senior partners in the private equity firm evaluating your business proposal.  No doubt first impressions matter.

1. SMILE – “Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you.” Les Brown

A warm smile is a great start to a good first impression. A warm and confident smile will put both you and the other person at ease. When I interview potential job candidates, the first thing I look for is a genuine smile.  It tells me the person is excited and eager for the chance.  However, any overuse of a smile will come off fake and insincere.

2. BE PRESENT – “As youngsters, my mother taught her children that while we might not be the smartest people around, we could be courteous, polite and considerate of others.” Zig Ziglar

Be attentive to the person or person(s).  Put down your phone and focus on the person and conversation in front of you. Give yourself 100 percent to that other person.  Anything less and you will ruin your chance for a good first impression.

3. BE ON TIME – “I’m on time even when I try not to be.” Diane Kruger

Meeting someone for the first time is not the time to be”fashionably late”.  Save that for your high society meetings and events. I always try to arrive a few minutes early.  Although, not too early.  You don’t want to come off overly eager.  Just remember that people are busy and their schedules are usually full.  One late appointment will affect the whole day’s schedule.  If you’ve ever gone to the Dr., you know what I’m talking about.  Being on time is a show of respect.  That goes a long way in making a good first impression.

4. BE YOURSELF – “Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” Bruce Lee

People can smell a fake.  They know if you are authentic.  Being yourself allows you to be confident and at ease.  This can go a long way in making a good first impression.  However, you need to remain appropriate for the particular situation and express yourself appropriately.

5. SHOW CONFIDENT BODY LANGUAGE- “Body language is a very powerful tool. We had body language before we had speech, and apparently, 80% of what you understand in a conversation is read through the body, not the words.” Debora Bull

As the quote says above, about 80% of what we say is non-verbal.

A business handshakeStand confidently with your back erect and your shoulders square. Hands to your side and feet spread just inside both shoulders.  This is known as the Presidential Stance.  Greet each person with a firm (not hard) hand shake and make eye contact.  Be aware of your nervous habits and move slowly, smoothly and confidently. All of this will help you project confidence and encourage both of you to feel at ease.

6. ASK SMART QUESTIONS THAT INDICATE YOUR’RE LISTENING- “There’’s a difference between listening passively and listening aggressively. To listen with your heart, you have to listen actively.” John C. Maxwell

Be an active listener.  The way you achieve this is by asking questions relevant to what the person is saying.  This indicates your engagement in the conversation.  Resist distraction and resist the temptation of putting yourself first.

7. SHOW SINCERE INTEREST IN PEOPLE – “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” John C. Maxwell

My wife and I went to one of those home improvement stores shopping for a refrigerator.  As we entered the appliance department, a sales person immediately approached and asked if he could help.  We excitedly replied “yes”, and said we are looking for a refrigerator.  As we began giving him our specifications, his phone rang and he immediately answered it!  Without any apology, he began talking and walked away.  The best way to show sincere interest in other people is to show them you care and that they are important and have something unique to offer.  A sincere interest in people will go a long way in making a good first impression.

8. INITIATIVE RELEVANT SMALL TALK – “I’m not great at small talk.” Courtney Cox

I think Courtney’s quote above is probably true of most people.  However, small talk is present in almost every first meeting and we must successfully push through it.  A person’s ability to maximize the content of small talk can provide very useful information in establishing a connection and a good first impression. Small talk can provide clues for relevant questions that initiate a deeper understanding of that person.  How many business deals are done based on attending the same college?  Small talk provides those small details that typically have big results!

CONCLUSION

Making a good impression is simply using common sense and being intuitively aware of the situation you are in. Develop these 8 habits and use them next time you meet someone for the first time.  It could be a life-changing event.